


Falling from the Fifth Floor

by BIFF1



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Knights of Ren - rock band, Light Praise Kink, M/M, Possessive Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Vanilla, Weird First Meeting, Wingman Phasma, alternating pov, buttom Hux, hints at past child abuse, hints at past emotional abuse (Snoke), is that a thing?, it's a thing right, kylo ren's monster cock, small time jump, smutty fluff, these losers catch feelings, they are so stupidly in love with each other, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-07-24 16:14:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7514836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BIFF1/pseuds/BIFF1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hux's cat jumps out of his apartment window he feared the worst, only to find a man on the street below had caught her. He feels indebted and drawn to the younger man with cat scratches all up and down his arms. </p><p>Kylo doesn't even use this street to get to band practice normally. It's fate. He's sure of it when the owner of the violent ball of fluff comes to get the cat wearing his bands t-shirt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meet cute?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mimixchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mimixchi/gifts).



Some where around the eighth or ninth cup of coffee Hux realised that perhaps a double major had not been the best idea he had ever had.

 

His fingers were smudged with pencil and he wondered what had happened to his professor that caused him such distaste for computers.

 

Architecture was the major he had taken for himself, for love and passion, reasons no Hux had ever done anything for.

 

Ever.

 

And he was understanding why. He was beyond tired, no matter of terrible coffee seemed to be able to perk him up.

 

This.

 

This, he realised looking around his dining room table covered in blue print paper and textbooks and old Starbucks coffee cups, was hell. He hadn't done laundry in he didn't even remember how long now(he had resorted to the band T-shirt some ex had left behind, a band he had never heard of, KOR, the short shorts he wore for aerobics and pastel pink socks of indeterminate origin), and he'd eaten ramen straight from the package every day this week.

 

Hard, dry, flavourless.

 

But he couldn't, wouldn't, drop classes.

 

He lived to defy his father, and very few things irked the man as much as Hux’s chosen future.

 

Hux pushed his homework away and stood, stretching sore cramped muscles.

 

His phone flashed from its position purposefully across the room. New messages, from Phasma he had no doubt. She had been on his back about the funk he'd been in since he and he-who-will-not-be-named broke up.

 

Throwing yourself into your school work was fine and all up to a point and he had crossed that line a week and a half ago.

 

At least Millicent didn't judge him.

 

She had been spending most of the daylight hours glaring at a pigeon that seemed to be considering permanent residence just outside the living room window.

 

“You going to get that sky rat today Millie?” He asked rubbing his neck, “Teach him whose turf this is?” Hux grimaces as Millie digs her claws into the back of the couch, getting up, her fur up, ears flat.

 

“Millie…”

 

Something feels wrong. Something is different from all the other days where Millie hisses and bats ineffectually at the pigeon.

 

A soft breeze ruffles her orange fur and it hits him like a ton of bricks.

 

The window is open. He had opened the windows this morning hoping to rid the apartment of that stale smell.

 

The scream rips from his throat the moment Millicent launches herself out of the window at the bird.

 

Hux runs across the apartment half tossing himself out the open window after her.

 

He doesn't want to look down as see what happened to his cat, his beloved Millie, but the blood is rushing around his body, adrenaline useless as he clings white knuckled to the window frame looking down.

 

Where a dark haired man is looking up at him his arms full of orange fur.

 

“You dropped something.” He yells up the five storeys that separate them.

 

“Jesus fuck. Thank you! Stay there! I! Oh my god thank you!” The words jumble hurriedly out of his mouth as he grabs his keys from the kitchen counter and runs down the stairs.

 

Hux took the stairs as quickly as his legs would allow, leaning heavily on the railing to swing around the landings.

 

Standing in the vestibule was his hero with his arms full squirming orange fur. The man was tall and broad and Hux took the moment it took to open the inside door to look the man over. He was younger than he looked from five floors up, large dark disney princess eyes, too wet and too expressive, and they didn’t match his too large noise or his pornographically full mouth. It was a look that should have been off putting, attractive features by themselves jumbled together on the tall dark haired man, but he was rather striking.

 

He reached his arms out between them and plucked his cat out of the man’s arms. Arms that were streaked red from Millie’s claws.

 

“I don’t know how to thank -” Hux breathed out looking up the several inches the man had on him. The man was staring at him, those dark eyes focused on his chest. Hux looks down at himself, had he spilt coffee on himself? No. Nothing just the slightly too big t-shirt with KOR written on it.

 

“You like Knights of Ren?” the savior of cats asks his voice kind of breathless. He reaches out in a daze to touch him, his long bare arms ripped apart, blood beading up on the soft flesh of his forearm.

 

Hux snatches the man’s arm, “Did Millie do this.” He shakes his head, of course she did, “Come upstairs let me tend to those.”

  
The man makes a noise in the back of his throat and Hux honestly isn’t sure what it’s supposed to mean but the man easily allows for Hux to pull him up towards his apartment.

 

____

 

Kylo can’t stop staring at the man tugging him up five storeys.

 

Narrow shoulders keep slipping out of the stretched out neck of a KOR t-shirt.

 

Knights of Ren

 

His band.

 

The horrifyingly adorable man in front of him, with his hand still locked around his wrist actually liked his band.

 

Kylo was a big believer in fate, and this screamed of it. He didn’t even normally walk this way to band practice but he was running late and thought he’d take a short cut.

 

It wasn’t everyday a cat jumped out of a fifth floor apartment and into your arms.

 

No one could convince Kylo that this man, this beautiful thing, wasn't his fate.

 

The man with hair of flame and no name let go of his wrist and pulled keys out of a small pocket in his sinfully short shorts and pushed the door to 504 open.

 

“Come in… uh…”

 

“Kylo.”

 

“Hux, come in. The bathroom’s down the hall to the right.” Hux tells him and Kylo isn’t sure what a soft looking man like Hux is doing with such a rough name, or even liking the post punk garbage his band pukes out in bars downtown.

 

The man with soft looking hair and strong grip in the pastel pink socks looks like he should live off of soft sweet folk music and vodka soaked club music.

 

He’s never been particularly fond of either of those things but maybe he’s wrong. The man was wearing his bands t-shirt after all. He slips out of his torn up sneakers and follows the man’s direction.

 

Kylo can hear the sound of windows closing as he sits down on the edge of the bathtub and waits. He doesn’t want to look through the man’s things, not when he was probably his soulmate or something. He could see a few bottles of that energy stuff, the kind of pills that keep you up for days.

 

When Hux finally appeared in the door to the bathroom he looked a fair amount calmer. He bend down, crouching to search under the sink, “I am indebted to you.”

 

“It’s not like I was going to not catch the cat.”

 

“Yes well.” Hux pushed his hair out of his face like he wasn’t used to it being there and pulled away from the cabinet with a first aid kit, “Arms out.” There was a command in Hux’s voice that sent a thrill down Kylo’s spine.

 

He did as he was bid and tried not to memorise the exact pink of the man’s lips as he wiped cold antiseptic along the long red scratches.

 

“Are you a student?”

 

“I am.” Hux tells him without looking up from where he is kneeling between Kylo’s legs tending to his arms.

 

“Medical?”

 

“What?” Hux looks up for a moment, red gold lashes obscuring blue green eyes, “No. Architecture and business. Yourself?”

 

“I uh… I’m in a band.”

 

Hux makes a strange noise in the back of his throat, something that feels like he disapproves. It’s ridiculous he’s wearing his band across that lithe looking frame.

 

A soft smirk of a thing pulls across the man’s mouth as he runs warm smudged fingers down the cuts on his arm, “Are you any good?”

 

“Some nights yeah. You should come and see for yourself.”

 

“I have midterms.”

 

“Looks like a night out wouldn’t hurt you any.”

 

“No thank you.”

 

“You won’t come see me after I saved your cat?”

 

“Maybe if you’re still in a band after midterms.” Hux runs those long, delicate looking fingers down a bandage on his forearm, “There you are.”

 

Hux stands up and offers Kylo his hand. He takes it and holds him close as he stands up, almost towering over the man.

 

“Come see my band tonight.” Kylo whispers, voice low and rough. It’s what he’s heard called his fuck me voice, “O’Bryan’s on 12th.”

 

“I have midterms. I told you. I haven’t done anything but study for days.”

 

“Eleven. I’ll put your name on the list.”

 

“Put whatever you want on the list. I’m not going.” Hux doesn’t try to shake their hands apart though. His breath hot against his neck.

 

“You want to repay me? Come see my show tonight.” There is no space between them, his chest against the slighter man, he wants to slot their hips together and there is something hazy in Hux’s eyes that tell him he’s more receptive to the idea then he’s letting on.

 

Hux let’s go of Kylo’s hand and steps away from him. He leads him to the front door and Kylo goes willingly. His shoes slip on easily and he’s being pushed gently out into the hall.

 

“Come see my show Hux, O’Bryan’s on 12th at 11.”

 

“Midterms.” He closes the door on Kylo and he listens to the locks tumble into place.

 

“O’Bryan’s-”

  
“On 12th at 11. Yeah it doesn’t matter. Is it the mid or the terms that you don’t understand? Now go away.”


	2. O'Bryan's

To Hux’s relief Kylo does actually leave. He watches him retreat down the hall from the peephole. He isn’t terrible to watch.

 

He’s positive he’s been out of the dating game for too long because he had almost let a complete stranger manhandle him into a liaison. He had stood so close, his body so warm the heat just rolling off him. It had made his mind turn into fog.

 

Hux had a midterm in the morning, and that project he had been working on all week was due in just two days. He normally would have had everything done by now but he seemed to be falling behind.

 

Even if the awkwardly handsome man who had saved his cat from death wanted him to go see his band tonight. He couldn’t, wouldn’t go.

 

Glaring at Millicent, who has taken up her vigil once again on the back of the couch, he makes his way to the kitchen to make himself something to eat.

 

He is enjoying peanut butter toast and going through his messages. His ex has sent him three today, and the rest of his log is filled with Phasma.

 

He deletes the messages from his ex and scrolls casually though all the concerned and half angry messages from his best friend.

 

It’s their standard conversations, just more one sided than usual.

 

She tells him about her day, about the barista that wrote Phantom on her cup, the gross kid at her gym that vomited when she punched him, a rather long section of her accusing him of hiding in his apartment, broken hearted and a mess.

 

She goes on to call him a coward, how he’ll never meet anyone else this way.

 

_For your information I met someone today._

 

His phone goes off immediately, Phasma all in chrome and deep blood reds and a vicious smile lighting up his screen.

 

With a sigh he answers it.

 

“Tell me everything.”

 

“Hello Phas-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, tell me about this man you met.”

 

So he does, describes Kylo in detail and his wonderful reflexes.

 

“So I’ll met you at O’bryan’s at 11?”

 

“What?”

 

“You think I actually believe you? He caught Millie after she had jumped out the window? Window’s you keep religiously closed because you can’t stand the street noise when you study? Yeah. Sure.”

 

“It’s true and I’m not going. I have a midterm tomorrow to study for and the project for Carey is due in two-”

 

“Wear something hot.” She interrupts him and he can practically hear her predatory smile over the line before she hangs up.

 

He isn’t going.

 

He tells himself for the rest of the day, even in the shower, while he’s getting changed into the last clean clothing he has (dark skinny jeans that take forever to get into, a dark colored shirt that makes his eyes stand out and a dark blazer he has in the back of his closet for presentations).

 

He isn’t going.

 

He tells himself that the entire walk down 12th street where he can see Phasma standing on the opposite side of a line developing outside the bar.

 

She stands head and shoulders above most of the people on the street, her chrome member's only jacket shimmering and shining in the streetlights.

 

“So, if you met someone and he put you on the list go right ahead and tell the nice bouncer.” She’s smirking like she’s caught him, like she’s gotten her way, and maybe she has.

 

He’s out of the apartment after all.

 

“Hux.” He tells the man who looks down the list and waves them through.

 

“Holy shit, Hux? Did you actually meet someone today?”

“Why would I make up such a ridiculous lie about my cat jumping out of the window? Obviously I would have just made up a lie about meeting someone at the supermarket.”

 

He’s pushing through the sizable crowd towards the front where a band has just started playing. They seem to be the main event and it takes Hux a moment to recognize that he’s seen this band before and that center stage is Kylo.

 

Singing rough and low and deep into the microphone.

 

“So when is your knight in shining armour going on?”

 

Hux points out at Kylo who takes that moment to look right at him and smile at him like he plans on eating him alive later. It whips the crowd into a momentary frenzy.

 

“You know who that is don’t you?” Phasma asks him leaning in close to him as they make there way back towards the bar.

 

“Kylo, saviour of cats, knight in shining armour.”

 

“Yeah, knight is right. That’s Knights of Ren.”

 

“Knights of Ren?”

 

“Your ex was crazy about them? You kept that shirt of his out of spite.”

 

“Oh.”

 

The shirt he had been wearing when he met Kylo. Oh that could explain why he had been so distracted by it. That ex, the bastard that would not be named, had dragged him to a few of these shows before, he had never really paid much attention before but Kylo was mesmerizing.

 

Phasma seemed perfectly content to stay at the back of the bar with him, watching from a distance and nurse a few ridiculously priced high balls.

 

When the set was over Kylo jumped out into the crowd and walked through the bar, with the entire crowd watching as he pushed his way towards them.

 

He greeted Hux with a bright smile, his body heaving a little from exertion. He put his arms on the small table they had managed to get and stared at Hux.

 

“I knew you’d come.” His voice sounds raw and breathless and it’s far and away the most sexual sound that Hux has heard in a long time. It sends electricity soaring through his blood.

 

“This is Phasma. A friend of mine.” He waves over at her but can’t pull his eyes from the sweaty and breathless man.

 

_

 

“Hey.” Kylo manages to pull his eyes away from the redhead just long enough to sweep his eyes over this so called friend.

 

She's amazingly taller than him, an uncommon feat. She seems to shine and shimmer in the dim lighting of the bar, her lips dark red and perfectly applied.

 

He can think of several friends of his that would die to climb her.

 

She meets his eyes and nods sharply as if her job here is done.

 

“Don't do anything I wouldn't do Huxy darling.” She presses a deep red kiss against the man's impeccably pale skin and leaves without a word.

 

He doesn't care all that much where she goes. Kylo moves closer to Hux, his fingers rubbing the kiss mark away into just a deep smudge.

 

“I knew you'd come.”

 

“I didn't.” Hux tells him, his voice soft but wonderfully dark in the buzz of chatter of the bar.

 

Hux doesn't look anything like he had that morning. That morning he had looked soft and sweet like he would inexplicably taste of sugar cookies or ice cream. Now he looks like hard edges that cut and it's just as appealing. The soft looking fabric of his shirt is a strange blue green color that sets off the man's eyes.

 

Like he was some vampire, his eyes seem to always be lit up even when the rest of him is in the shadow of the dingy bar.

 

“Fuck your attractive.” He finds himself huffing out in disbelief as Hux offers to buy him a drink.

 

A strangled sort of laugh forces itself out of Hux without his permission and it's glorious.

 

“What?” That huffing half laugh continues around the word.

 

“You can't tell me you haven't heard that before?”

 

“Not quite like that, no.”

 

“Well that's a crime.” Kylo is close now, close enough to feel the heat of the man's flush, to bask in it, “I’ll gladly remind you. Give me your number and I'll wax poetic about your wonderful features everyday.”

 

He wouldn't even have to try hard to do it. Kylo already had a song and a half written about the redhead.

 

“Does that usually work for you?” Hux asks with a strange brand of cruelty as if the sharpness of his tongue could distract him from the flush of his face.

 

He isn't sure what to say, he can't say yes because he's never said those kinds of things to anyone before and he can't say no because that sounds like he doesn't think Hux is special.

 

Which he does.

 

“Would you rather I try courting you a different way?”

 

Hux let's out a snort of laughter that doubles him over, he's hiding a bright smile behind his hand that Kylo can only see in glimpses between fingers.

 

“Courting. Are you courting me? Do you want me to wear your pin and go steady?”

 

Yes.

 

He definitely wants that. It takes the twinkling light of the man's eyes for him to realise he's being made fun of. He doesn't much care for it.

  
It sends a spike of ice cold anger through his body and he can feel his entire body stiffening up, tensing as he tries to remember those breathing exercises.


	3. Bloody palms

Hux watches as Kylo shifts from the fluffy bright over emotional singer that had pleaded with him through a closed door into something with harder edges.

 

He's upset.

 

He's upset and he's trying to calm himself but his knuckles are white and his fingernails are cutting into the flesh of his palm.

 

Hux should not be interested in this creature but he finds the reaction oddly satisfying. He hasn't had anyone react to him so violently before, nothing he had said to the numerous ex boyfriends had ever affected them like this. They had taken Hux’s mean words in an infuriating stride, like his opinions didn't really matter.

 

This though.

 

This felt powerful.

 

Hux wraps a hand around Kylo’s wrist and feels the hard thump of his thundering pulse under his fingers. Kylo startles and looks at him with those large dark eyes of his and there's a wonderful dark anger mixed in with surprise as Hux carefully pries the man's nails out of his palm.

 

Hux isn't entirely sure what he's doing. He should go home, he should be studying or working on his project or a million other things that should be more important than what this moody singer has done to the flesh of his palm.

 

But none of that really feels as important as this, and Kylo just lets him lift his hand up to inspect.

 

There are crescent scars and ripped flesh, smudges of blood across flesh and Hux does the most insane thing he's possible ever done, double major included.

 

He presses his tongue across the bloody palm, flat and hot and laps up the blood and salt of the man. A man who is melting at the feel of his tongue.

 

He watches Kylo open and close his mouth, trying to form words for a moment before he sets his hand down.

 

Kylo offers the other hand staring at him with eyes so intense it's as if the man is trying to see into the spaces between Hux’s atoms.

 

Hux gives the other abused palm the same treatment.

 

Did he say he wouldn't do anything Phasma wouldn’t do? Because he's sure she would never just ingest some strangers blood. 

 

There was so so much wrong with that. With him. With Kylo. With the pull in his gut and the strange flutter in his stomach. It felt like he was enthralled, in thrall, the thumping bass in the bar, the low lighting and the heat of the man inching closer and closer to him was short circuiting his brain.

 

_

 

Vampire.

 

Hux was a vampire. The way his eyes light up even though there was no reasonable light source to do it, the pull in his gut, in his soul, the way he had pressed his tongue hard against the ripped flesh of his palms and drawn him inside of himself.

 

Hux was a vampire and Kylo was a billion percent alright with that.

 

“After party.” Kylo told him, voice still rough from the singing and the screaming and breathless from whatever the hell Hux was silently doing to him.

 

“Pardon?”

 

“There- there is an after party. At Garrick’s place... “

 

“Oh, okay.” Hux nods slowly like there is something sad about that idea. Which makes no sense because Hux hasn’t even seen the shit hole that Garrick calls home yet, “I should be going anyway.”

 

“What? No. I want you to come with me.”

 

“To the after party? At some stranger’s house?”

 

“Essentially yeah.”

 

“I don’t even know you.”

 

“Course you do, I’m Kylo, I saved your cat from a terrible death, I sing lead for Knights of Ren and I really want you to come to the after party with me.” Kylo tries to throw Hux his best smile, the one that always gets him his way. 

 

Hux doesn’t really waiver though, “Maybe next time Kylo. I’m going to go home. I’ve been away from my textbooks far longer than i intended.”

 

“Let me walk you home at least.”

 

“It’s not that far.”

 

“Yeah it is Hux, I’ve been there before. Let me be a gentleman and walk you home. I’d never forgive myself if you didn’t make it home safely.”

 

“Sure. Fine. Whatever. You are not coming up, we are not kissing. I am not inviting you up for coffee or any other cliches that really just means sex. Understand?”

 

Kylo holds his arms up in mock surrender, “Completely.”

 

He follows Hux closely, his hand against the small of the man's back as they weave through the crowd. Hux doesn't seem bothered to find his friend, he just lets Kylo steer him through the crowd and when they are outside in the chill morning air it takes him a block and a half for Hux to shake his hand off him.

 

They walk in silence, arms brushing against each other, Kylo’s finger searching out Hux’s before nervously pulling away. 

 

Kylo can't remember the last time he's felt this nervous about someone before. Especially after a show, after a show he was a fucking god, people bowed and bent to his will, people craved his attentions but Hux.

 

Hux was holding all the cards and he should hate it more, should hate the complete lack of control he has over this situation but he doesn't.

 

Not when Hux looks over at him with those ethereal eyes, those eyes he's composing silent sonnets for as they walk across the street.

 

The streets are near empty as they travel the decent distance to Hux’s walk up. It would be romantic if he could just manage to figure out exactly where he stood with the ginger.

 

He absently rubs at the bandages up his arm and Hux quickly snatches his hand, fingers tight around his wrist again.

 

“Don't.”

 

“It itches.”

  
“That means it's healing, now leave it.”


	4. Give and Take

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Nefarious_Writings who beta'd this and suggested that i combined a couple files to make for a better transition.

There is something pulling in the man's dark eyes, something seductive that he can't deal with right now. Hux drops the man's wrist like it burns.

 

He will not allow himself to be seduced by this mess of a man, this handsome awkward thing with lush lips and bedroom eyes, with  _ very  _ pullable hair.

 

He will not allow it.

 

He has his future to think about.

 

A future which, judging by the looks that Kylo isn't even trying to hide, could consist of hot mouths and tangled sheets.

 

A movement catches his attention. Kylo is scratching at the cuts under his shirt sleeves.

 

With a put upon sigh Hux snatches his wrist again. “Do I have to hold your hands to stop you?”

 

“ Yes.” Is Kylo’s breathless reply as he steps closer to him and threads his fingers through Hux’s own.

 

Hux tries not to think of how big the man's hands are. He truly is an obscene collection of parts. His hand radiates a warmth that is overwhelming, slowly seeping into his body.

 

They are holding hands as he silently contemplates truly pornographic uses for those beautiful too large features of his when they arrive at his apartment.

 

Kylo slips his hand from his and steps away, Hux is disappointed at the loss of contact.

 

“ No coffee right?” Kylo asks with a smirk, his eyes somewhere around Hux’s ankles.

 

“ Right.”

 

“ Phone number?” Kylo asks fishing his own phone out of his pocket and holding it out to him.

 

“ What? Why?”

 

“ I told you before. So I can sing your praises everyday. Send you messages about your hair, your eyes...god you have good eyes.”

 

Hux can feel his body react to the slight praise without his permission.

 

With a sigh he unlocks the front door and holds it open.

 

“ Well?”

 

“ I thought I wasn't being invited up for coffee? Or any other cliché?”

 

“ I'm not inviting you up for coffee, I'm inviting you up for sex, unless you would prefer not to.”

  
Watching the man's throat struggle with swallowing makes up for how long it takes for Kylo to actually walk through the door. Panic pushed aside he leads the man up to his apartment again.

 

\---

 

Hux isn't holding his hand this time, there is no physical pull to follow the smaller man up all those stairs.

 

It's just that pull somewhere behind his ribs that is begging to connect with the red head.

 

He wishes he had had a couple drinks after the show, because he is freaking out.

 

“ I… I've never done this before.” He confesses as Hux unlocks his front door. He should be closer, should be against the other man, that animal need overriding everything else in his too busy brain. It should be all adrenaline and teeth and tongues but there is a respectable space between them.

 

“ What? Go home with a man after a show?” There's a snort of amusement as the door opens slowly. It take Kylo a second to realise that he's making sure the cat doesn't make a run for it.

 

Judging it safe Hux reaches out and finally touches him again. The cool touch as he is pulled into the apartment calms his wild mind for a moment.

 

Looking over the surprisingly sharp, crisp, and cruel looking lines of Hux he knows he's here because Hux wants him to be. This is not a man who looks like he could be pushed around.

 

“ So? Have you?” Hux asks crowding him against the door, His hand gently brushing past his side as it locks the it.

 

“ Have I what?” There's a definite breathy quality to his voice that he's never heard before today but that Hux keeps pulling out of him.

 

“ Gone home with a lot of men after shows?”

 

“ Never sober…”

 

“ Afraid you won't _ perform _ ?” Hux’s voice is rough and low, hot breath against his ear as the chain from the deadbolt clinks into place.

 

He is pressed against him and Kylo is sure that he shakes a little as his hands come up to wrap around narrow hips.

 

He doesn't want to fuck this up. This man is his destiny, he knows they were fated, that universes, planets, stars, everything had moved in a specific way to make Kylo walk under that window at the exact right time.

 

Soft red hair is brushing against his cheek, even softer lips brushing damp and hot against his jawline, down his neck and a pleased rumble of noise vibrates against his skin. Hux is pleased with the instinctual display of his neck.

 

He wants more.

 

More of everything.

 

With hands too hard he presses against the soft flesh, pushing him into him, slotting them together.

 

A moan falls from him as he feels the hot friction of Hux against him. He's not hard, not yet, and Kylo’s mind flashes through a million terrifying scenarios.

 

Hux pulls back from savaging his neck, his eyes still devastating pools of blue green light in the dim.

 

Kylo is not without experience but Hux feels like a completely different animal. None of his usual tricks feel even remotely good enough to try with Hux.

 

“ If you're not interested-”

 

Kylo digs his fingers into the meat of Hux’s ass, driving him harder against himself, embarrassingly hard already.

 

“ Does that feel uninterested?” He asks with a breath.

  
“ Then _ do _ something Kylo. Make this worth my ti-” He surges forward and swallows the words on Hux’s tongue.

\---

 

Hux tries not to moan at the feel of Kylo against him, hard, so hard, already, barely even touched.

The dig of fingers into the flesh of his ass don't let up and Hux finds himself very interested in letting this man bruise him.

Kylo’s tongue is hot, slick and soft against his, giving gentle almost kitten licks into his mouth. He doesn't taste of alcohol, or coffee, or smoke like all of the other men Hux has had like this.

Kylo is stone sober, the adrenaline of the show dying off and leaving Hux not with the ethereal creature that was on stage but the very real man who had been in the right place at the right time to save his cat.

His hands are hard and urgent and rough against his hips but his mouth is sweet and soft. Hux can't wrap his brain around the contradictions of this man.

There is something electric in the sweet kisses the man is plying him with that normally does nothing for Hux. Hux liked to take and take and take, he was selfish, a selfish person and most assuredly a selfish lover but pulling away from Kylo’s obscenely wonderful mouth he finds he wants to _ give _ .

He blames the Disney princess eyes, darker now with want, and the flush across his awkwardly handsome features, the tremble in fingers pushing up Hux’s shirt in order to grab and dig at skin.

“ Hux…” It's that breathless hoarse whisper again and his name has never sounded better than in this man's mouth.

“ Mmm?” Hux hums pressing in close, mouthing at the soft skin beneath Kylo’s jaw, his hand working its way down between them. His long fingers wrapping around a studded belt that on anyone else Hux would find abhorrent but makes his heart beat a little faster now.

Whatever he was going to say dissolves into a low growling moan of a thing as Hux undoes his belt. Fingers grabbing desperately at his sides, shaking, trembling against his skin, driving him forward. Long, delicate fingers easily unbutton Kylo's tight pants and there's a sigh and a moan as Hux slips his hand into the unyielding fabric, forcing him to be a little rougher than he had intended.

Kylo grabs at his shoulders and while Hux expects a push down to urge him down onto his knees, it never comes. Kylo seems more than happy to take whatever Hux will give him, biting at his kiss swollen lips to cage beautifully pathetic noises.

Hux stalls a moment, slowly feeling the man out, hot, heavy, wet, _ large _ in his hand. Hux isn't sure it's going to fit in him.

He must have said that part out loud because Kylo’s grip tightens till it is painful, a moan breaking free of his mouth and his hips twitch up, pressing himself against Hux’s hand.

“ I'll make it fit, I'll be careful, I'll take all night preparing you with my-” another moan as Hux starts to move his hand, his other hand prying down the man's pants to give him room to work, “tongue, fingers, god, god, you'll feel so good.” Kylo rambles voice deep and low and every word going straight to Hux’s cock.

God.

Is he hard? From tight fingers, from the press of the man against him, from his moans and words.

Hux has always been a… difficult… lover. Past lovers complaining about how long it took to get Hux ready, to get him wanting and undone. But here he is rutting against Kylo like a horny teenager.

Hux is normally in control, of everything, everyone, but with an uncharacteristically loud moan he drops to his knees. Hand pressing against Kylo’s waist, pushing him into the front door, hand sliding up under his shirt.

Fuck, he's fit.

Other hand desperately pulling at his pants, exposing Kylo to the cold air of the hallway. Hux isn't one to salivate at the sight of someone's dick, but God it's what wet dreams are made of.

Hux just stays there for a moment too long, hot breath tickling it while he watched it twitch and leak for him.

“ Hux-” Kylo whines and a hand slips carefully into his hair, running gently through it. When Hux looks up at Kylo’s face he knows it was a mistake because he's looking at him as if he hung the moon and the stars, like he was t he be all end al l .

This huge man is giving him too much power over him and it's intoxicating.

  
“ Hux, Hux, _ please _ .” There is a gentle tug of his hair, nothing too rough, just needy. He leans forward, tongue flicking out, the moment there's contact Kylo seems to come apart.

 

\---

 

_ Oh god oh god oh god- _

Kylo isn't sure if he's saying that out loud or not, Hux’s mouth is against him, hot and teasing, licks and wet open mouth kisses gracing his skin and he's trying to focus on not collapsing under the feeling.

He's never been this sober for this before and it's an entirely different experience, or maybe it's just Hux. Everything is just this side of controlled, it feels like he's pushing at the seams of something. His hand tightening in Hux’s beautiful copper hair, another around the door handle trying to keep himself upright.

Watching Hux is almost more obscene than the act itself. There's something close to worship in the way that Hux licks and kisses at him.

He knocks his head against the door when Hux finally wraps his mouth around Kylo. The soft, wet, heat of Hux’s mouth feels fucking divine, beyond divine.

Kylo can't think straight, he just wants to watch Hux, with his lips stretched across him, pulling him in. He's doing something with his tongue and Kylo isn't sure exactly what it is but he knows he doesn't want it to ever stop.

He looks down at Hux, kneeling before him his eyes closed as he works him. One hand around his shaft, the other pressing crescent shaped cuts into his chest. He isn't touching himself and Kylo can't imagine the kind of control that must require. He can barely think, his head normally filled with chaos and song lyrics is just filled with a buzzing want.

He wants to praise Hux, sing his praises for the world to hear, his beautiful sweet gingerbread with a mouth made of- cat.

Kylo is distracted by the wonderful feeling of Hux’s velvety mouth by a different ginger.

The cat is sitting a couple feet behind Hux and she is staring at him. Not _ them. _ Him. Judging him and it's terribly distracting.

“ Hux…”

Hux vibrates around him in acknowledgement and it's almost enough to forget the look that cat is giving him.

“ Hux, Hux stop…”

Hux stops doing that thing with his tongue and pulls away from Kylo with a knee weakening pop, his lips red and wet. He’d look beautiful if he wasn't looking up at Kylo with narrowed eyes.

“ What? I thought you liked-”

“ Your cat.”

“ Millie? What the hell are you on about?”

“ Your cat is looking at me.”

A soft huff of almost laughter reaches his ears and Hux touches him again, soft hands against spit and precum slicked flesh. His long delicate fingers draw patterns against his flesh almost lazily.

“ Ignore her Kylo.” Hux tells him voice softening into something worthy of ballads and sonnets. Hux’s eerily illuminated eyes are on his flesh, taking in the obscene length of him and a smile softens his features and hardens Kylo, “Good boy.” Hux purrs before swallowing him again.

It's good.

It's too good.

Kylo wants to watch him. He tilts his head back down to watch but his eyes catch on Millie again.

“ Hux I can't. Not with her looking at me.”

Hux comes off him quickly, a slight scrape of teeth that almost doubles Kylo over.

“ God damn it Kylo. If you want to move to the bedroom you are going to have to carry me there because I like you pressed up against the door like this.”

Carry him?

  
It isn't a terrible idea.


	5. Praise

Hux couldn't believe this. He wasn't doing his best work, that he knew, but there was something about Kylo that demanded to be worshipped and he had thought that he had been doing a good job.

 

Apparently not a good enough job to be a distraction from a cat wandering through the hallway.

 

Kylo grabs him by the collar and Hux is pulled up from his knees so quickly he stumbles into Kylo.

 

“ What are you-” Kylo grabs him around the waist and stepping away from the door, hauls Hux up over one broad shoulder. “You can't be serious!”

 

“ Which room?” Kylo asks a hand kneading his ass as he's carried down the hall towards his bedroom.

 

After a false start opening up the storage closet Kylo finds his bedroom and tosses him down onto the bed.

 

Hux has never been so outraged and so incredibly turned on before, he doesn't want to even imagine the bright red blush across his face. As he leans up on his elbows to stare at Kylo, still hard and exposed, standing over the bed looking down at him like he isn't sure if he wants to eat him alive or be eaten.

 

Kylo moves towards the bed but Hux holds up a hand. He delights in the vulnerable nervousness that claims the man's face.

 

“ Take your clothes off.” Hux demands and with a swallow -that is beautifully laboured- Kylo starts pulling his shirt off.

 

His mouth is dry, it would be comical if his body wasn't screaming out to touch.

 

If he had had a few more drinks he would have indulged in the impulse without thought, would have raked his nails over that tight skin, pressed his tongue against the muscled grooves of his chest. He had felt the impressively firm chest but seeing it was another matter. It’s a wide expanse of muscle and tight skin and christ that belongs to him.

 

Right now all of Kylo belongs to him. He can tell by the way the man is looking at him, eyes dark but seeking his approval. Approval he has never really given before to any of his past ‘lovers’.  Approval he has no plans in giving now either even though his entire body is screaming with it.

 

It’s the nervous, shy, way he grabs his arm and rubs his fingers along the bandaged scratches that pull the words out of his mouth, “Christ, you’re built like a renaissance statue.”

 

Hux hates himself for letting that leave his mouth, but the soft, warm smile that spreads across Kylo’s face as he drops to the bed, crawling over to him is enough to placate him. The way that Kylo presses his hands to his skin as he pushes his shirt up speaks of something far beyond tonight.

 

It sends a strange thrill down his spine, but he can’t manage to keep his thoughts on what every soft, reverent touch means when Kylo drops his hips against his and bends at what should be an impossible angle for the larger man to press wet kisses against his chest. A heavy hand presses him down into the bed, burning fingers grazing his skin as they unbuckle his belt.

 

There is something tentative about the way Kylo touches him, something careful and gentle that he’s not used to, and when he touches back he expects it to be with force but his hands grab at hot firm flesh like it will save him from drowning.

 

Hux is naked before Kylo, spread out under him and the overhead light is on and Kylo is looking at him, really, really, looking at him and Hux just wishes he was touching him again.

 

“ What are you doing? Why did you stop?” He knows that he’s flushed, that the blush from the intense focus is traveling down his body.

 

“ Putting everything to memory.” Kylo whispers, a heavy hand trailing down his sides but staying well clear of the place he wants him to touch. The twitch and thrust of his hips is a desperate move that he will deny to the grave. “How am I going to sing your praises if I don’t remember the exact angle of your hips?” Kylo leans down and presses a kiss to his hipbone, his long hair falls across Hux’s pale body, partially hiding him from view and _ shit _ when he moves his hair drags across him a painfully, teasing barely there touch that makes him arch up and whine.

 

Something else he will deny. No one that knows Hux would believe Kylo anyway. He can’t ever remember being this vocal and needy before.

 

Hux grabs a handful of that soft, now damp hair and pulls Kylo back up his body to look him in the eyes.

  
“ Should I be worried about exactly how you plan on _ singing _ my praises?”

 

\--

 

Hux absolutely should be worried because Kylo is planning out an album dedicated to the way he looks kneeling beneath him, every look that burns, every press of desperate fingertips. The arch of his back and the angle of his hips.

The man is a fucking masterpiece. Cut from silk, his skin decadent, soft, smooth, hot. He's not sure but he might be murmuring that into Hux’s perfect skin as his hands roam his body.

Hux’s hot breath stutters across his skin at every whisper of praise and it makes his mind up. He was going to tell his perfect soulmate how perfect he was every day.

Sweet words of adoration to fall across him every day, that he could look back at whenever he wanted.

He'd record his song, Hux’s song, so he could play it every night. So he and everyone else could be reminded of what utter perfection looked like, sounded like, god.

God, he can't take much more of the man’s skin on his, of the desperate rutting the man is doing.

“ Hux, god-”

“ _ Please, please Kylo _ . Please.” Hux begs and that sound, those desperate heart-rending sounds would get their own song.

“ What do you need, anything, anything.”

Hux looks at him with those luminescent eyes, half lidded and darkened, face flushed, lips wet red and parted. It's the look of someone who believes him.

Kylo would destroy worlds for Hux in this moment.

Hux doesn't answer him with words, the bite of a lip, the embarrassed squeeze of his eyes and his hands on Kylo’s shoulders pushing him lower, his legs falling open wider.

Kylo hasn't done this much while sober but he can get the hint. He plans on keeping his earlier promises, to make them fit together. He knows that they will be perfect together, that nothing will feel as good and right as this.

This.

This pale expanse of lean and devastatingly sweet skin. He can't help himself when he bites into the man's hip. Hux is a whining mess around him, pushing and pulling and raising his hips up to grind his hard cock against his body.

He leaves a trail of wet precum across Kylo’s chest as he moves across him, keeping just enough pressure to drive the man to desperate twitches and scraping fingers.

Hux’s skin is hot and flushed and tastes of sweat and fresh soap, a light musk making his head fog as he nuzzles against the hardened desperate skin.

The shaking stuttering gasp as Hux tries to angle himself to try and encourage more of the touch sets Kylo’s heart into overdrive and makes it difficult to breathe.

He wishes he could suddenly develop perfect recall because there isn't a moment about this that won't kill him to forget. Sliding his hand around a creamy freckled thigh he slips it over his shoulder, listening to the soft cursing and praise flowing from Hux’s parted mouth.

He stares for a moment at the man spread before him, his body flushed and shivering and needy. The moan that falls from his mouth is deep and low and sounds like an animal to his ears. He wants to touch every part of this man, every shaking flushed inch of him, devour him.

He wants to devour and Hux wants to be devoured, it's obvious in the little movements and the soft pleas of _ please, please, Kylo, please. _

Pressing a soft wet tongue against him, he licks long stripes up the man, pressing hard against the sweet ring of muscle he's desperate for and stopping short of the man’s leaking cock.

Hux whimpers and it's beautiful.

Whimpers and curses and begs and Kylo knows this is special because nothing about the man he saw tonight suggested he was the begging kind.

He lavishes the man with his tongue, enjoying him writhing around in his loose grip, when he finally starts to work him open the moan is low and needy in Hux’s throat, in a way that seems to vibrate the air in the room.

Tongue rolling and curling and pressing against the rim of him, pushing in ever so slightly, barely entering him. He's so fucking tight. Kylo finds himself thrusting mindlessly against the bedding at the thought of that around more than just his tongue.

When he adds his spit slicked fingers, Hux’s moaning seems to just roll like thunder, low rumbling noises. The man's arms thrown over his beautiful face as Kylo works him open.

It must have been ages for Hux because he's tight, tight, tight. It's amazing and he whines and begs and praises as his fingers and tongue work him slowly open wider. Hux may not have been kidding about not fitting in him, but he's determined and Hux is moaning and pushing him in closer with the leg tossed over his shoulder.

“ _ Please Kylo, please, it's enough, just please.” _ Hux begs, fingers in his hair pulling him away from the much looser hole. Fingers twisting and tugging at his hair in a way that makes a broken noise fall from his wet lips.

He lets Hux pull him up to his face, he isn't sure he could get him much looser than that anyway, he's surprised by the desperation in the kiss that Hux pulls him into. Body rubbing up against him, breath panting inside his mouth, tongue sliding across his own seeking out every taste for himself.

Kylo wraps his hands around the man's narrow waist, grabbing with an urgency that is going to bruise.

One of Hux’s hands disappears from his hair but he's too lost in the man’s kiss to wonder where it's gone until there is something being pressed against him, something cold with sharp edges.

He pulls away to see the gold foil of a condom wrapper and the sharp edges of a small tube of lubricant being pressed against him.

“ Hux…” he whispers with a strange amount of longing as he pulls far enough away from him to make use of the items thrust at him with shaking fingers.

“ Ky-kylo.” Never has his name sounded so broken and so beautiful in anyone's mouth before. He pours the clear gel into his hand and warms it before wrapping a hand around himself to line up with the sweet man’s entrance.

“ So tight…” he whispers as he pushes through the still tight clutch of the man who arches and grabs at him, breath ragged, it's hell to go slow, “How long since you've been taken like this?” He asks not sure he wants an answer. Kylo has always been the jealous type.

Hux has his arms wrapped around Kylo's neck, his face turned away, hiding in the crook of his arm as he whimpers and bites his lips to control his noises.

“ Never...never… I've never… always the other… god never… you're so… god Kylo…” Hux stammers in reply and a thrill goes through Kylo.

Never.

Never.

Only him.

He tries to slow down even more as he carefully presses in, gaining an inch and pulling back, careful, careful. He needs it to be good for Hux, even more now, now that he knows it's only been him, will only ever be him. Knowing that somehow Hux had waited all this time for him, even if he hadn't known it.

“ You're so good, so tight, perfect.” Kylo tells him as he slowly works himself into the man.

Hux moves his hips a little, an experiment, and Kylo thinks he'll break at the sweet noise he makes in his ear.

It takes... he doesn't even know how long, to get fully seated but it's worth it for that deep satisfying moan that Hux makes, the press up, the tilt of his hips.

Kylo can't bare to move a hand away from him to grab a pillow to angle the man's hips so he drags his hands down the man's perfect freckled, slightly bruised body to tilt him with his hands.

The way he has to hold himself to thrust into him is grueling but the feel of him stretched around him, the sounds he makes, the way he can watch the man's body arch and shake and tremble make the effort more than worth it.

He works out all the time and if he had known all those years ago that as a result he would be able to watch his soulmate like this he never would have complained when his Uncle made him train.

“ Oh god, how are you-” Hux groans out looking up at Kylo with half lidded awe, reaching out to run his fingers across tensed muscles, “God, god your-”

Whatever he is is broken into a particularly loud moan and a twitching thrust. Hux is moving against him now as best he can with Kylo hold him like this.

Kylo is losing himself in the act, in the man, in the feel of him wrapped tight and wet and hot around him, the feel of his fingers grabbing at him. Kylo is moaning Hux’s name and a steady stream of flowery praise is falling from his lips, pieces of song lyrics, poetry about the feel of him, how good, how perfect he is.

“ Kylo, Kylo, I'm… Kylo-” Hux’s fingers dig into his arms and pull him until Kylo has no choice but to fall in close, bodies pressed tight together as he continues to thrust, Hux’s nonsensical wonderful murmuring in his ear, broken up with moans and praise and swearing until the man clenches around him in every possible way and finishes. A hot sticky mess between them that feels wonderful in this moment.

He made that happen.

Kylo keeps moving through Hux’s stuttering , twitching, orgasm until he reaches his own. Pushing up away from Hux to look down at him in wonder as the man, half gone still, raises a hand and touches Kylo’s cheek, cupping it softly, sweetly.

Kylo almost bites through his lip to keep the words _ I love you _ out of the air.

He just met this man today, yesterday, he doesn't know what time it is, and it's fate. And he's his soulmate, and he's perfect. He can tell by the way Hux is biting back his own words, choking on sentiment, that now isn't the time.

  
Kylo is mindful enough in the euphoria to collapse beside the man, crushing him doesn't seem like the best way to end the evening. He pulls the condom off, tying it and dropping it into the bin beside the bed. He pulls the blankets over them and wrapping around Hux murmuring soft words of praise, falls asleep.


	6. Flame of my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the wonderful Nefarious_Writings.

Hux lies there staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

 

He doesn't do this.

 

He doesn't do any of this, any of that, he doesn't take strange singers home, he doesn't worship his partners bodies, doesn't bottom, doesn't plead and beg and keen at his partners words and touches, he doesn't do this, doesn't cuddle afterward.

 

Hux doesn't do this, but the soft warm feeling in his body, the strange body high the man created with whispers and moans and perfect touches is still singing in him, the heavy strange hot molten metal in his guts is strange and new and he doesn't want to put a name to it.

 

Not tonight.

 

There was something about the man that had made him drunk, something intoxicating in the power he had been given over the larger man, and something endearing and lovely about the way his name sounded all hoarse and whispered and moaned in that mouth.

 

He had never done that before, never wanted to, never gave over that kind of control over his body to someone else, it's frightening.

 

Kylo nuzzles against his neck and pulls him closer in his sleep, prominent nose pressing against the sensitive skin of his neck and it's calming, the soft puff of his breath against him, the heat of his naked, sticky body against his.

 

They hadn't cleaned off, the sheets are going to need to be changed but he only cares about that somewhere in the back of his mind. That's to worry about later.

 

Now he should sleep, he's amazed that Kylo is out so quickly with the overhead light still making a spotlight of the bed.

 

Carefully he extracts himself from Kylo’s grip and goes to turn the light off.

 

He's standing with his hand on the light switch when he hears the soft scratching of Millie and opens the bedroom door. She looks at him with that level of disdain only cats could accomplish and jumps up onto the bed to make herself comfortable.

 

With a sigh he turns off the light and goes back to the bed. He's standing beside it when he realizes how little studying he's accomplished because of the beautiful creatures in his bed.

 

Pulling on the KOR T-shirt he leaves the bedroom to grab his text and notebook.

 

He's studied for several hours in the low light of the bedside table, Kylo wrapped loosely around his waist, before the man wakes up.

 

It's quarter after six and he's going to need so much coffee to stay awake through all his tests and classes today.

 

Kylo pushes himself up onto an elbow looking him over, a hand reaching out and running a warm finger across the stretched out neck of the T-shirt.

 

“Have you been studying all night?”

 

“Most of it yeah.”

 

“You were really serious about that?”

 

“You thought I was lying?”

 

Kylo shrugs, but falls back to the bed, his face half hidden in his hip, “I like you in this.” His mouth is suddenly damp against his bare skin, “Wear it next time?”

 

“I don't wear this outside, not usually.”

 

Kylo looks up at him with red cheeks, “I didn't mean to a show…”

 

“Oh.” He wants a repeat. He wants to see Hux again, he wants to be… inside him… again. He can feel his face heat up and instead of answering that he closes the textbook and pushes himself out of bed, “I'm going to shower and leave… so… uh… gather your stuff I guess.”

 

“Sure.”

 

By the time Hux is out of the shower Kylo is dressed and feeding Millie. It's domestic and he's overstepping and it should, according to Hux’s history, make him upset and a little nauseous.

 

It doesn't.

 

It's actually pretty cute.

 

-

 

They walk out of the apartment together and down to the station where they part but not before Kylo kisses him, _for luck_. It's heavy and deep and in front of a platform full of people.

 

“See you later?” Hux finds himself asking, face hot and red as his hair no doubt. He shouldn’t be like this, he’s never been like this before, all fluttery and nervous and drawn to him like a super magnet. It’s just. He doesn’t know.

 

He thinks he might know why but he can’t even think the words.

 

Kylo’s kiss reddened mouth slides into an easy smile, it wide and sweet and different from the smiles he's seen so far.

 

“Absolutely.” He pushes some of those inky black tresses over his ears, the smile turns shy as he turns to leave him on the platform.

 

Hux’s phone goes off as he stands there waiting for his train, trying to go over his notes in his head.

 

Phasma no doubt wanting to know what happened to him last night. As if the quick _I slept with Kylo_ message he sent her in the middle of the night wasn't enough.

 

It's not from Phasma.

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren_

 

Sometime after he sent Phasma the message and before they left he must have snuck into his phone and exchanged their phone numbers.

 

He wants to be upset, it's an obvious invasion of his privacy.

 

_I miss you already, how am I supposed to survive without your breath on my skin, your voice in my soul. When can I see you again._

 

It's clingy and possessive. It shouldn't make him smile.

 

It shouldn’t.

 

It doesn't.

 

It does.

 

But he won't text him back, not so soon, even though the message will be marked as read. He needs to study, needs to get on the train.

 

_Hux: Do you like Lebanese food?_

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren: yes._

 

_Hux: I'll be hungry at 7:30, you think you can find your way back to my place?_

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren: blindfolded and in my sleep. I could find you in any crowd by the sound of your breath, I would find you anywhere. Fate would lead me to you again._

 

_Hux: Fate? Again?_

 

This was his fault for getting involved with a creative. He had heard that they were an over dramatic bunch. Not that he was involved with Kylo. They weren't actually dating. It was just dinner, take out.

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren: I don't usually take your street to band practice. It was fate._

 

_Hux: ridiculous. Don't be late._

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren: good luck flame of my heart._

 

_Hux: please tell me you aren't actually writing a song about me? And you better not refer to me as flame of my heart._

 

_Kylo ❤ Ren: I'll think of something better. Promise._

 

-

 

“So what, you dating him now?” Phasma asks easily at the back of the lecture hall like she was nothing.

 

“No. I am not dating him now.” Hux hisses at her, the entire lecture hall doesn't need to hear about his love life thank you very much.

 

“You sure?”

 

“Of course I am sure.” His phone vibrates across his textbook. He flips it up just enough to to see it's another message from Kylo. When he looks back at Phasma her eyes have light up, “What?” He sighs.

 

“That's him isn't it.”

 

“No.”

 

“It is, I can tell.”

 

“How on earth would you be able to tell?”

 

“Because you smiled at the phone.” He opens his mouth to deny it but she reaches over and snaps the phone up from his desk with her freakishly long arms. Phasma settles back in her seat and scrolls through his day long conversation with Kylo ❤ Ren, “Flame of my heart?”

 

“He's an artist, you know they are always over dramatic and over affectionate.” He huffs.

 

Phasma sits up straight in her desk and stares at the phone. Hux quickly runs through their entire conversation today, searching for something overly obscene and private.

 

“Wow.” She puts the phone back on the desk.

 

“Wow? Wow what?” quickly looking down at the conversation he hadn't sent him a dick pic or something right?

 

_No._

 

It's just sickeningly sweet words of encouragement and Hux giving him synonyms for words.

 

“Wow what Phas?”

 

He isn't paying any attention to the lecture now, he hopes she's happy.

 

“It's nothing, I just thought you'd just, you know, call him names and things until he wants you to ravage him. You know the usual.”

 

“I don't have a usual.”

 

He _totally_ has a usual and it's exactly what Phasma is saying. He's mean and cruel and unyielding and they crumble beneath him, desperate to be taken.

 

None of which has happened with Kylo. Not that Phasma needs to know the logistics of last night.

 

“You actually like this guy don't you.”

 

“I barely know him Phasma. He's just _obscenely_ aesthetically pleasing.”

 

“You invited him to your place for dinner tonight Hux.”

 

“Yeah… to fuck. It's an excellent stress reliever.”

 

She hums to let him know she doesn't believe him. Which is ridiculous because of course they are just going to fuck and then he'll cut Kylo loose.

 

He isn't special. He's just exceedingly good looking.

 

His phone buzzes in his hand again and he tries to bite back his smile as he reads the next set of lyrics, or lines of a poem Kylo has been constructing about vampire luminous eyes and a deadly pull, of blazing hair and beautiful sounds whispered in a thumping bar.

 

He doesn't like it.

 

He doesn't.

 

And he most certainly isn't smiling at the odd depth of emotion Kylo Ren can put in just a few words typed into his cellphone.

 

* * *

 

It is 7:26 and Kylo is leaning against the wall across from Hux’s apartment with his arms full of Lebanese take out.

 

He has never been early for something in his entire life. He wasn't even born on time. And here he is early, scared out if his mind that Hux is going to take one look at him after being well removed from kisses and gentle touches and not want to deal with the mess that is Kylo Ren.

 

He had been sending him messages all day, stopping only two hours ago when Hux had asked him to so he could study. Hux hadn’t been very forward in his responses, just giving him better words, or telling him that something was silly or contradicted something else he had said hours before.

 

Kylo pulled out his phone to look through the day long conversation for anything that was really encouraging.

 

Nothing.

 

He needs a sign, anything, that will tell him that this is what he thinks it is.

 

That this is fate.

 

This is love.

 

The time on his clock rolls over and he steps forward to knock on the door. His stomach churning at how desperate being on time feels.

 

“ _Coming!”_ Hux yells from behind the door, he can hear the man hiss and stumble and a heavy hand hit the door.

 

It takes a moment for the door to open and when it does Hux doesn't look anything like he ran across the apartment. Kylo forgets how to breath for a moment because the tall, slender man is standing in the doorway with his KOR T-shirt slipping off one shoulder.

 

Kylo reaches out between them and running his fingers across Hux’s soft skin and pulling the shirt back up his shoulder.

 

This is the sign isn't it.

 

Hux standing there in wrapped loosely in his band T-shirt, his words from this morning echoing in the back of his head.

 

_Wear this next time._

 

Hux loved him too didn't he. He had bitten back those beautiful words, kept them trapped in his chest where they were growing and filling him.

 

Oh, he'd have to write that down later.

 

Kylo is no doubt grinning like an idiot because Hux shakes his head biting back a smile.

 

“Stop looking at me like that,” he grabs the take out bag from his hand, leaving him standing in the open doorway, “It's just a comfortable shirt.”

 

“Sure.”

 

They eat at a table littered with notebooks and schematics and little matchstick buildings. The bones of Hux’s legacy scattered in front of Kylo.

 

He stuffs a fatayer in his mouth and picks up one of the structures, the half arch of a bridge and when he pulls it up to eye level he can see the little cutout details.

 

“This is beautiful Hux.”

 

Hux looks shyly down into his bowl but the smile across his face is wide and true.

 

“What's it for? A project?” He asks hoping that Hux will look at him like he had at the bar, like he was going to eat him alive, like he was going to reach into him and touch his soul.

 

“It's not a project.” Hux tells him putting down his dinner and leaning across the table to pluck the piece out of Kylo’s palm. Small pinpoints of cool where Hux's fingers dragged across his skin, “I just do these for…. Uh… for fun.” He says it like he expects to be made fun of for it, holding the intricate piece in his open hand, shy again.

 

This feels like something important, like these were more than just the bones that Hux would build a career on, like these were little pieces of his soul.

 

“Can I keep one?” The words are out if his mouth before he can think about it.

 

“What?”

 

“They are beautiful. I'd like one.” he adds to try and be polite and maybe a little less intense. Something kind and non threatening.

 

He's pretty sure it doesn't work.

 

_Let me hold onto pieces of your soul. Let me hold them, keep them safe for you_

 

Something shifts in the way Hux is looking at him, that luminous quality has taken over his eyes, turned them into something pulling, magnetic. He finds himself leaning into Hux, staring at those eyes, those eyes he's been thinking about all day, that beautiful color he couldn't do justice to no matter how purple his prose got.

 

Hux’s searing gaze dips and Kylo reaches out and carefully places the structure onto the table before surging forward and claiming Hux’s damnable mouth.

 

A soft sigh escapes there redheads mouth as Kylo presses in as if he's been waiting an eternity to have their mouths reunite rather than just over twelve hours.

 

Had he been thinking about him too? Had Hux been daydreaming about him like he had? Had his brilliant mind been crowded with his studies and flashes of Kylo’s eyes or the feel of his hair or the smell of his skin.

 

Kylo pulls back a little, deep breaths against the man's kiss reddened mouth. Hux’s hands are on his neck, pulling him closer.

 

“Don't you need to study or do homework or something?” He asks praying to whatever had pulled them together that the answer was no.

 

“Yes.” Hux whispers, his breath smells of delicious food and Kylo dips forward to lick the taste off his lips. Fingers slip into his hair, tightening, twisting, pushing Kylo closer.

 

Hux surges forward as much as Kylo’s heavy hands on him will allow and crushes their mouths together.

 

Kylo runs his fingers through heavenly silken strands of golden red hair. Without his hands on Hux he's afraid the man will pull away, stand up, move to the far end of the table away from his reach and get back to that studying he should apparently be doing.

 

Instead he kisses him like he needs it to breathe, hot, wet, just this side of sloppy as he tilts Kylo’s head to accommodate his movements.

 

Kylo watches confused as he stands from his chair still kissing him. When Kylo pushes up to follow him fingernails dig into scalp and with a yelp directly into Hux’s demanding mouth he stills.

 

The weight of Hux across his lap is divine, and perfect, and _Jesus fucking Christ._ One of Hux’s hands drops down his chest to fiddle one handed with Kylo’s belt.

 

Kylo grabs onto Hux more urgently, fingertips digging.

 

Hux pulls back to focus on Kylo’s belt.

 

“I thought of you all day.” Kylo gushes out instead of _i love you I love you I love you_.

 

“I know I got all your ridiculous messages.” Is the beautifully breathless reply.

 

“Did you… did you…” Kylo can't look at those dangerous eyes, that mess of heavenly fire he wears as hair, his eyes instead focused on the shirt he's wearing. His hands sliding the soft worn material up his body, a stomach and chest lean but not defined, a soft safe haven he never wants to leave.

 

“Did I what?”

 

Did you think about me? Did you like them? Did you miss me? Do you want me? Do you love me?

 

God

 

God

 

God

 

_Please._

 

The release of his belt buckle is loud in the quiet apartment.

 

“Did you…”

 

“Yes.” Hux whispers slipping the belt from the loops and dropping it to the floor with a loud bang, “Yes.”

 

“You don't know what I was going to ask…” Kylo looks up into that supernatural eyes, the blue green grey of them is almost gone in favour of fat dark pupils, as if something about Kylo is worth looking at, worth staring at, worth not missing a single movement.

 

“Don't I?” There is something in Hux’s voice that sends shivers across his overheated skin, it's dark and low and Kylo wonders not for the first time if this heavenly creature isn't as heavenly as he appears. There is something dark and dangerous in him and it calls to him just as strongly as everything else about the man.

 

Hux shifts on his lap, pushing Kylo’s jeans away from his embarrassingly hard cock. Kylo can't quite see what Hux is doing from their position but it doesn't matter because Hux licks his palm before sliding it between them and wrapping around Kylo.

 

The sigh and moan that fall from his mouth as his head drops back should be shameful. It's as if he's waited years, crossed deserts, and mountains, fought legions of warriors to get back to Hux and his touch.

 

It's only a few slow pumps, wet with precum and spit before he pulls his hand away.

 

Kylo whines and grabs at Hux trying to manhandle him back, harder into his lap, hand wrapped around him, god, god, anything, please.

 

“Hux _please_.”

 

“Shhh Kylo, I have you. I have you.” Hux whispers against his ear and god if that isn't true, as if it hadn't been true the moment he handed Hux his angry orange cat.

 

Hux is shimmying his hips and twisting a little and pushing himself closer, closer to Kylo’s heaving chest.

 

“What are you doing?” He can't help but whimper when Hux’s hand slides down his length again, pulling him carefully, moving him until.

 

“Jesus fuck!” Kylo moans when Hux’s wet, stretched out hole makes contact with his dick, “Hux, Hux, what did you, why are you, oh god.”

 

He can't be this stretched out from last night still and certainly not leaking onto him and god has he not been wearing underwear this entire time under those tiny shorts?

 

Hux has one hand guiding him in and the other white knuckled on the back of Kylo’s chair, “I thought about you.” Hux confesses his breath a strangled choppy panting thing, “I wanted… I was going to… fuck how are you bigger than I remember?”

 

Kylo needed to feel him, needed to touch him, he runs his hands over Hux’s shorts, he has them pulled aside, slipping his hands into the small shorts, stretched tight across them. Hux’s ass is possible better tonight. Somehow, like he magically gets better every time they touch, as if the short absence really had made his heart grow fonder.

 

He rests his fingers against Hux’s hand and the carefully stretched hole, fingers sliding slightly in lubricant Kylo can't believe is there at all.

 

“Naughty…” Kylo whispers trying to focus on every part of Hux and not let his mind narrow down to his dick, slowly pressing into Hux. He wants to remember that look of concentration, the mess of his hair, the awkward angle of his shorts, the way the shirt slips from his shoulder and hitches up around his hip. He wants to commit the exact pink tinge to the man's cheeks, the feel of each puffing pant of breath against his cheek, the dangerous pulling quality of his eyes focused on Kylo’s collarbones.

 

“How long did you - ah.” Kylo let's out a loud low rumble of a groan that seems to fill the apartment. Hux is finally settled in the cradle of Kylo’s lap, filled. Under Kylo’s satisfied groan he can hear Hux whimper. However long Hux took to prepare himself wasn't enough, it must sting.

 

Kylo wraps his arms desperately around the man in his lap, holding him too tightly surely, “Oh god Hux, so good, so perfect.”

 

There's a soft keening noise in his ear at the words and he suddenly doesn't feel so embarrassed about the endearments that had falling babbling from his mouth the night before.

 

Hux tries to move and Kylo’s breath catches in his chest somewhere at the soft painful gasp Hux is trying to hide in Kylo’s shoulder.

 

“Shhh, shhh, Hux I have you, I have you.” He returns Hux’s sentiment and holds him tighter keeping him still as his body gets used to the stretch and fill.

 

Kylo can't remember a time he had been careful with someone like this, like he is with Hux, never as worshipful and wanting, never so inclined to go slowly and carefully like he is with Hux.

 

“Kylo…” Hux whispers into his shoulder, head turned in to his neck, like he's hiding from something, maybe from everything, “Kylo, I want… I want you…”

 

It's something in the thick way he says it that makes it feel like something so much better than the awkward sex they are slowly, slowly, starting.

 

“This isn't who I am.” He continues, lips damp against the skin of his neck and Kylo can't imagine getting a full sentence out as he finally allows Hux to move, slow and tight, “I'm not this person, I've never been this person before. You aren't going to like me when you really get to know me.” Hux confesses between pants of breath, his fingers digging into Kylo’s back, holding Kylo in the most intimate hug in the history of mankind.

 

“Not true.” Kylo tries to whisper, tries to be serious but it comes out half moan because God did Hux do research? Someone who has only bottomed one other time should not be able to do that with his body, “You're wonderful.”

 

There's a soft puff of breath against his neck that almost feels like a laugh, “You don't know me Kylo, I'm not a good person.”

 

Of course he's not, good people don't have eyes like Hux does, like he could kill him with a look, good people don't lick blood off a strangers palm, good people don't fuck on the first date.

 

“I don't care, I don't want a good person, I want you-” Kylo pushes a hand down into Hux’s misshapen shorts (they are never coming back from this) and wraps his hand around Hux’s length.

 

The man let's out a loud moan and arches into the touch, grinding around Kylo.

 

Kylo wants to figure out how to keep him like this, because he wants to watch him come, watch those eyes cloud over with pleasure.

 

It's awkward and stilted and Hux makes an unhappy noise but Kylo manages to get Hux onto the table instead, he pushes textbooks and papers away without a care to slam the redhead down on the cleared space.

 

Leaning down, resting heavily on the table and thrusting into him in an erratic rhythm he watches Hux’s beautiful face control beautifully as his body reaches out for him, hands fisted in his shirt Kylo presses sloppy kisses against Hux’s face.

 

He's close. Hux feels too good wrapped around him, staring at him with foggy eyes, arching into him, trying to push back, to meet his thrusts.

 

He wraps a hand around Hux again, pumping trying desperately to push him over the edge before he's useless, before he's just a euphoric boneless puddle.

 

Whispering praise and desperation in Hux’s ear seems to help things along because Hux is coming, a loud moan in Kylo’s ear, shaking legs tightening around his body, spasms squeezing him inside.

 

Kylo comes with a shout and a thrust that moves the table a few inches and sends the cat bolting from the room.

 

He hadn't even noticed Millie this time around.

 

It takes them a long few moments to untangle and Kylo stares down at the cum dripping out if Hux and onto the table with wide eyed fear.

 

_They hadn't._

 

God there was even a condom in his wallet. In the pants that are falling down his legs.

 

“What?” Hux asks pushing himself up onto his elbows, legs hanging off the table, shorts stretched to the side displaying the mess he had made of the man. He looks like a mess, an amazing, album worthy mess, skin still flushed and a lazy smile on his face, eyes half lidded, “what's the matter?”

 

“I'm clean Hux, I swear I'm clean.” Is what tumbles out of his mouth and Hux narrows his eyes at him, sitting up on the table. The way he shifts makes his eyes widen, he must have broken through the fog and realized what he was talking about.

 

He leans forward, elbows on knees, face in his hands mumbling to himself, Kylo leans forward to try and hear him but all he's catching are numbers and times.

 

Kylo pulls his pants back up and quietly goes around the room cleaning up, picking up papers, putting away food, washing the dishes, anything to keep him occupied but still within view of Hux.

 

He is clean, his mother makes him get tested with a frequency that makes him think that she thinks he's a bit of a whore. He wonders as he opens cabinets trying to figure out where Hux keeps his bowls if that was the reason Hux felt so fucking amazing.

 

No, he shakes his head finally finding the right cabinet, Hux felt so amazing because he was his soulmate, because they were in love, because Hux had thought about him and wanted him, Hux felt so amazing because he was Hux, not because they had forgotten about safety precautions.

 

“When was the last time you were tested?” Hux asks, voice soft. When he turns around Hux is on the other side of the kitchen island that fluffy monster in his arms.

 

“Last month.” He's not sure if he should tell him his mother insists on it or not.

 

“I see… and have you done that with anyone else?” He waves a hand to the table, it’s off centre now and he doesn't even have to think about it.

 

He's never done anything like what he does with Hux with anyone else, not really, there was something so much _more_ than the physical when he was with Hux. Even the purest, sweetest, interaction fell short of the way he felt with Hux.

 

“Everything with you is different, all those sounds, those feelings, they belong to you alone Hux.” _My darling, my love._

 

A new blush settles across Hux’s cheekbones and he averts his eyes, “I meant bareback you over-dramatic asshole.” Hux seems to be trying his hardest to be upset with him but he doesn't quite make it.

 

“No, no one.”

 

Hux nods once, sharply, and puts Millie down on the ground, “I'm going to have a shower, did you want…”

 

Kylo stares at him with wide eyes, he's sure his desperation is showing but Hux has his eyes on him again. He is praying to everything and everyone he's ever heard of for that sentence to end in any way that isn't asking him to leave.

 

“Come along.” Hux gives up trying to put his question into words. He turns away and starts down the hall, towards the bathroom, “You aren't sleeping in my bed until you've washed.”

 

Kylo rushes after him, wrapping his arms around Hux's slender middle and holding him tight in the middle of the hallway.

 

Hux is stiff in his embrace for a moment before slowly relaxing into it, dropping his head to the side to allow Kylo access to his neck. Kylo presses biting kisses against the soft sensitive skin.

 

“We are _not_ having shower sex Kylo. We are just having a shower.”

 

“Sure.” He mumbles against his skin, licking at his pulse point like some sort of animal. Kylo doesn't really believe him about the sex anyway, last time he said that he hadn't meant it either.

 

 


	7. Armie

“How's the boyfriend?” Phasma asked as she filled his kettle with water.

 

“What boyfriend?” 

 

She threw a look over her shoulder at that, an all eyebrows and eyes kind of look that clearly told him he was being a shit.

 

“Kylo, how is Kylo?”

 

“I suppose he's fine. I haven't seen him in a few days.”

 

_Lie_.

 

That was a lie. He was a liar. Not that that was all that new it was the lying to Phasma that was new. But he honestly didn't think it was any of her business that he had seen Kylo just that morning, that he had spent the nth night in a row here. Over the past two months Kylo had spent more night in his bed then not. Not that Phasma needed to know that.

 

If it had just been sex he would have told her, would have told her things about how great the man was in bed or something to that effect.

 

But they hadn't even fucked in days.

 

Last night Kylo had made him dinner and they had watched a documentary and I.M. Pei. Kylo had fallen asleep stretched over Hux’s lap, Millicent draped over him. He had been barely coherent when he had dragged him to bed.

 

“Don't lie to me.” She tells him bluntly pulling three cups out of the cabinet, “I ate lunch with you today.”

 

“What does that -”

 

“It was homemade lasagna with a post it note on it ripped into a heart.”

 

“You don't know that I didn't make it.”

 

“Hux, the extent of your culinary skills is boiling water and using a toaster.”

 

“Your faith in me is heartwarming.” He deadpans watching her wall across the apartment to disappear into the hall. 

 

He hears the door open.

 

“I really just need a key Armie- Oh. Hello.” Kylo's voice is clear in the hall and Millie, traitor that she is goes to greet him.

 

He cringes Phasma is never going to let this go and he knows it to be true when they appear from the hall, Kylo is holding a bag of groceries in both hands and smiling at him nervously, Millie twining around his legs like she had had time to miss him.

 

“If I had known someone else was going to be here for dinner I would have picked something a little more exciting then roast.” 

 

“Oh that sounds amazing.” Phasma reassures him, “tea?”

 

“Uhh yeah-”

 

“The honey is in the cabinet above the stove.” Hux tells her as she moves into the kitchen proper with Kylo trailing her. Thankfully no one says anything about Hux knowing how Kylo likes his tea.

 

-

 

“Dinner was amazing, you found yourself a catch _Armie_.”

 

“Please don't call me that. You know I hate it.” He sighs heavily trying to push her out the door. Kylo is in the kitchen cleaning up, he does that a lot, singing to himself as he gives Hux space to think about things, it's nice.

 

“You let Kylo call you that.” She smiles like she ate canary rather than pot roast for dinner.

 

“That's different.” He hisses, their voices are low in the hallway but he's not sure if Kylo can hear them or not, “You know it's different.”

 

“You didn't let Tadd call you Armie, or Sheldon, or Aaron, or-”

 

“Yeah, yeah, you don't have to list everyone I've slept with Phas, it's just… it's different.” 

 

It's different because it doesn't sound like he's being belittled with his terrible given name, it doesn't sound like a slight in Kylo’s mouth, it sounds like an endearment, something Hux would never admit to enjoying.

 

“I take it back by the way Hux.”

 

“What? Take back what?”

 

“He isn't your boyfriend.”

 

He opens his mouth to argue because she's been doing everything in her power all night to convince him otherwise and he was maybe starting to believe her. Kylo was certainly more than just the great lay he'd been trying to claim him as, just a warm body and he was mad that she would downgrade him to some meaningless piece of ass.

 

“He's your _husband_.” She smiles brightly and finally leaves. He stands there with the door open staring out after her until she disappears through the door at the end if the hall. He's trying to come up with arguments against her new label for Kylo.

 

Kylo is smiling down at the counter when Hux returns, his cheeks are flushed and it's obvious he's heard every word.

 

“Come along.” He sighs and holds out his hand. Kylo moves around the island to take his hand, “Turn off the light.”

 

“Why?”

 

“We are going to bed.”

 

“It's 8:30 Armie. Don't you have homework to do?”

 

“I do.” He squeezes Kylo’s fingers and leads him to bed anyway. He closes the door quickly before Millie can make her way in and ruin the mood Hux is trying to create by watching Kylo.

 

Kylo is standing beside Hux’s bed, some of Kylo’s clothes are scattered around the room, there is a journal on Kylo’s nightstand.

 

Jesus,  _ Kylo’s nightstand _ . The man has a side of the bed, he has a nightstand. The last four or five actual boyfriends couldn’t boast that and he had never even used that word to describe Kylo. There had always been Hux’s space and their space, which had always been a different apartment. 

 

This was different. 

 

“Armie?” Kylo is standing there in the low light seeping through the curtains, folded up on himself, his big wet disney eyes pulling him in yet again, “Is something wrong?”

 

He shakes his head, “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

 

“Do you really not like when people call you Armie?” He asks quietly sitting down on the edge of the bed.

 

“I hate it.” It’s a growl of noise in his throat as he moves to Kylo, pushing him back onto the bed. He’s pulling at Kylo’s clothes and belt.

 

“Do you want me to st-to stop?” He asks breathless as Hux latches onto sensitive skin.

 

“Don’t you dare.” the growl of noise is foreign to him and rumbles against Kylo's throat.

 

There is something different in the touches tonight, the reverence is still there but they are deeper, harder touches, grabbing like he thinks Kylo will suddenly be taken from him. Which feels like it would be the biggest crime, the worst hardship he can even imagine.

 

Hux sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of Kylo’s neck, hard enough that he tastes copper. Kylo moans under him, writhing and grabbing at Hux, pulling him closer, pushing clothing further away.

 

He comes up away from Kylo’s bleeding neck and he must look a special kind of deranged because he feels unhinged tonight with Kylo spread out below him, chest bare and heaving.

 

Kylo reaches out and runs his thumb across Hux’s lower lip, it comes away dark red.

 

“I knew you were a vampire.” He heaves, if he wasn't near panting it would have been a whisper but he's twisting around Hux’s legs between his own desperate for friction.

 

“What would you do if I was?” Hux asks too desperate for more of this man to feel foolish for playing into the game, “What would you let me do to you?”

 

“ _Everything._ _Anything. Forever_.”

 

Is the panting mess that falls from his plush mouth in between desperate kisses.

 

It fuels something in Hux, something he thought long long dead.

 

“Mine.” Hux growls into the bite mark on Kylo’s sharp hipbone, “Mine.” His words lost in the gasping moan of the man above him as his teeth drag across a chiseled stomach.

 

Hux echoes every touch with a  _ mine. _

 

And he's pressing into a tongue loosened hole when the echo of  _ mine _ finds an echo of its own.

 

_ Yours. _

 

Kylo is an animal around him, holding him desperately close, locking them together and making Hux’s thrusts shallow so he can suck dark bruises across Hux’s neck and chest.

 

There are nails in his back as he roughly pushes at Kylo’s legs to give him more room to move.

 

The angle he's forced Kylo into keeps his wonderful mouth too far away from his skin, but he gets to look down at a ruined man, bloody bite marks across his body screaming out Hux’s claim as he works to bring him to further ruination.

 

Kylo reaches out at him, running shaking hands up his arms, fingers pushing into darkened and sore skin.

 

“ _ Mine. _ ” Kylo moans out and all Hux can manage is to fervently nod and reach his own trembling fingers out to wrap around Kylo’s length.

 

The man keens and arches at the touch the room filled with a cacophony of moans and begging and  _ Armie _ and  _ Kylo _ and  _ mine  _ and  _ yours _ .

 

Hux has the perfect clarity as he finishes as deeply inside of the man as he can get, arched over the man who is staring up at him with a foggy devotion and they say everything else they can think of so there is no room for

 

_ I love you _

 

_ So much _

 

_ What have you done to me _

_

 

Hux stands in the bedroom doorway looking at Kylo. He’s out cold still, last nights activities have left them both bruised and marked up and still sated somehow.

 

He considers not going in today, skipping his lectures to just spend the day doing nothing with Kylo until he has to go to band practice.

 

Except Professor Madagan has a habit of speaking too quickly for anyone else to catch and he is not leaving his education in the hands of peers that can’t make adequate notes. It’s the first time since they’ve been together that he doesn’t wake up Kylo to kick him out before he goes.

 

It feels weird but when he picks up the container of leftovers from the fridge another heart post it on it he knows this is the right decision. 

 

He removes the paper note and sticks it to the spare key and leaves them both in the mug Kylo likes to use for his morning coffee.

 

He takes too long making sure they are in the exact perfect spot before he rushes out to catch the train.

 

* * *

 

 

Alone.

 

Well mostly alone.

 

Kylo wakes up to the unhappy realisation that the ginger hair in his face belongs to Millie and not Armie.

 

“Armie?” He calls out pushing himself up out of the bed, cringing at the stab of uncomfortable pain. It had been a long time since he had been on that end of the equation and his body is yelling about it this morning.

 

He turns his head to look at the open bedroom door and has to press his hand against his neck. 

 

He knows realistically that Armitage Hux is not a vampire but last night he had been awfully convinced of it, with his sharp little teeth savaging him. He had been a man possessed last night and Kylo wouldn't have changed a thing.

 

Well waking up together might have been nice.

 

His phone is in the kitchen or the dining room maybe, either way it isn't in the bedroom and with no other source of timekeeping he is forced from the soft slightly bloody bed.

 

“Armie!” He yells out again but the only response is Millie meerwowing at him in protest, he looks down are her twining around his legs before trotting towards the kitchen.

 

He can't see her anymore but he can hear her meowing and yeowling and it sounds like she's batting her dish around.

 

Any hope that Armie is just out if sight with headphones in disappears because if there's one thing he's learned by almost living here for the past while it was that Millie wasnt ignored. It was impossible.

 

“Alright, alright.” He grumbles and makes towards her thinking of all the things he's going to send to Hux when he finds his phone because he sure does not care for being left like he means nothing, especially after last night.

 

Last night filled with markings and declarations that they belonged to each other what not did not soften the blow I'd waking up alone.

 

He couldn't stay around either, he couldn't just lounge around Hux’s apartment playing with his cat and work on his lyrics. He needed to go to band practice tonight.

 

With Millie happily crunching away at her breakfast Kylo turns to getting himself some sustenance. 

 

Where is his cup…

 

He finds his cup on the island counter and with a heavy sigh picks it up to wash it.

 

It clicks.

 

It clicks?

 

With narrow eyes he brings the mug up to his face to investigate the….

 

“Holy shit…. Is this…”

 

Kylo overturns the cup and a key drops into his hand and a ripped up post it note flutters to the floor in the shape of a heart.

 

It's a key.

 

It's a key for him.

 

It's a key for this apartment. It is right?

 

Kylo will never tell anyone that he actually goes to the door and spends a few minutes with a smile plastered across his face locking and unlocking the door.

 

He doesn't text, he actually calls  _ Flame of my heart _ when he finds his phone (he's pretty sure Millie had batted it around in the night because it had been under the couch).

 

_ I didn't realise you even knew your phone could do this. _

 

Hux laughs a little he's in a crowd, a coffee shop maybe.

 

“You left without saying anything.” He wants very much to still be angry about that but the key is heavy in his palm.

 

_ You were still out cold. I thought maybe the thing I left for you would make up for it. _

 

“What thing?”

 

Kylo listens to a voice in the background teasing Hux, it's definitely Phasma and she's making fun of the turtleneck in this heat.

 

_ You did get it didn't you? _ He sounds frantic  _ have you had coffee yet? I left it in your cup. How could you not find it i put it in the perfect place to see it when you got out of the-  _ a heavy sigh fills the line,  _ you're fucking with me aren't you you have the key. _

 

“Oh a key? That's what this is?”

 

_ Kylo… do you… should I not have…  _

 

Hux seems to have moved away from the crowd of people.

 

_ I thought you'd want it… was I mistaken? _

 

“I want it.”

 

There is definitely the sound of a relieved sigh filtering through the line. And it's sweet and soft and makes Kylo want to wrap his arms around his ginger.

 

_ Good, I just. I've never given anyone a key before so I didn't really know the etiquette. _

 

“You've never given anyone a key to your place before? I'm the first? I feel so special.” He did even if it was probably a lie.

 

_ You're the first  _ a lot _ of things Kylo.  _ There's a clatter of noise behind him somewhere  _ I'm sorry I have to go Phasma just knocked over an entire row of books. I think she and the librarian are in a fight… I'll tell you about it later… uh… will you be home when I get there? _

 

“Yeah. I'll be home.”

 

Hux says a flustered quick goodbye and hangs up.

 

_ Home. _

 

He called it home.

 

He looked around the apartment and wondered if that was true. Was this his home? He had certainly spent more time here then at his shitty apartment.

 

-

 

“how did you even get in here?” Kylo sighs dropping his keys to the shitty eighth hand kitchen table. He watches the extra keys shine in the low light of the kitchen.

 

He'd rather stare at those keys then make eye contact with the intruder.

 

“I figured you'd rather me then your Pops.” Poe leans on the back of the couch, one hand drawn through his dark thick curls.

 

One time not as long ago as he would have liked that motion had sent his stomach into a fluttery mess.

 

Kylo slumps into the kitchen chair and leans back heavily, balancing carefully on a single leg.

 

“What does  _ he _ want?”

 

“Be- Kylo,” Poe shakes his head and with a long suffering sigh he sits in the chair opposite him, “it's your mom's birthday next week.”

 

“I know.”

 

“There is going to be a party.”

 

“I suppose he wants me to go. Stand around pretending I give a shit about politics and economics and whatever he new charity is huh? Dress in a suit and let her introduce me to all those horrifyingly dull pretty boys that would do me so good.” He rolls his eyes so hard it does actually hurt a little bit.

 

“Actually it's just a small party at the estate. And he wants you to bring your boyfriend.”

 

Poe let's the word drop between them heavy. Why does that word always feels so heavy.

 

“How do you…”

 

Poe pulls out his phone and opens something. He slides it across the table for him to look at.

 

_ Darling the store is out of the cat food Millie likes what about the blue one with the shark on the front? _

 

_ Oh shit wrong window. Nevermind. _

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, also your toothbrush is gone and half your wardrobe.” Poe doesn't even look ashamed at all for clearly snooping around.

 

“Alright alright so that's how you know, did you just tell him?”

 

“No, we caught a show a little while back, you're doing really good man, it was packed, and we couldn't help but notice a couple new songs in the rotation.”

 

“Oh...yeah…”

 

“They're good man, although I think Han could have done without listening to you wax poetic about the visual of cum splattered copper tresses.”

 

Armie had given him a dressing down over that particular line but  _ fuck  _ was it a beautiful sight.

 

“It's a good song though man, actually the new line up is really good, a lot better than that whiny poor rich kid daddy issues bullshit you had set to music before.”

 

Kylo clenches his jaw, he will not get into a fight with Poe over his music,  _ again _ .

 

“That's nice and all but I'm not going, we aren't going.”

 

“Come on Leia would love to actually see you, rather than just the random still alive selfies you send her every once and awhile. This is important. And it's just family.”

 

“So you won't be there?”

 

“Ben…”

 

“I'll think about it, now get lost I’m just here to pick up some stuff before I go home.”

 

Poe raises an eyebrow but says nothing about how he's already supposed to be home.

 

Poe pauses at the door and looks back at Kylo whose looking around the living room for his guitar case, “He must me one hell of a muse Ben.”

 

Kylo stands up to his full height to look at the shorter man, the man he used to feel everything for and now he feels nothing but a nostalgic friendship, “He isn't a muse Poe, he's my soulmate.”

 

The man's mouth twists into something charming and soft, “If you say so Benny. I'll see you next week. I look forward to meeting this soulmate of yours.” He thankfully leaves at that.

 

Leaving Kylo to search his shitty, messy apartment for what he wants to bring home.

 

_Home_.

 

No place has ever had that word attached to it for him and actually meant it. That real feeling, not just the place where your underwear and your socks live but something wholly bigger than that.

  
  



	8. Armitage's Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all the lovelies that helped me get through this. I wouldn't have been able to finish without you!

When Hux got home Kylo was indeed there. In the kitchen as he often was, it was where Millie was sitting that caused him pause.

 

She was sitting happily inside an open and otherwise empty guitar case. The guitar was propped up in a corner of the couch which was riddled with notebooks.

 

Kylo was busy with whatever he decided dinner should be to notice the way he walked into the living room, slowly, as if the case, guitar and notebooks might strike out at him.

 

“How was your day?” Kylo asks not looking up from what he's doing in the kitchen.

 

“Fine… and you?” He asks distracted as he picks up the closest notebook. It's lyrics and a string of notes. He can't read music but he can certainly read his name written at the top of the page.

 

“an old friend ambushed me at my apartment. He wants me to go to my moms birthday party but, uh, Armie?” Kylo must look up at him then and see him staring at the notebook because there's soft cursing before he rushes over to take the notebook from his hands, “That's not finished.”

 

“Is that about me? What am I saying it's not like you know a lot of people called Armitage… are you writing more songs about me?”  Hux puts his hands over his face and tries to calm his heart and rushing mind, “I told you I don't want to be in anymore songs.” 

 

“It's not like Cream and Copper i swear. It's not about our sex life Armie it's… it's about how I…”

 

_ How I love you _

 

Hux shakes his head quickly before Kylo can finish that sentence the way he intends. He can't handle it. They have been avoiding those words for months now he isn't willing to let them out now. 

 

He doesn't trust himself.

 

“I'll just… I put these in the - Millie get out of - I'll just get these put away Hux.” 

 

The use of his surname feels like a shot. Kylo hasnt called him Hux in ages, Flame if my heart, Coppertop, ginger, darling, Armitage, Armie. But it's been ages since he used the name everyone else uses for him and taking the endearments away feels like he's creating a hollow in him.

 

He opens his eyes, drops his hands and watches as Kylo leans the now full guitar case in the front hall.

 

When he comes back to finish dinner there is something missing in his eyes, that sparkle is gone, they look darker and Hux just knows he's ruining everything.

 

It's what he's best at after all.

 

He and Kylo had been 'seeing’ each other for months and the day he gives Kylo his own key he starts to rip apart everything they have.

 

That's what he did after all. The moment anything seemed to be getting serious he started to tear it down. He just… he thought he was different with Kylo.

 

Everything was different with Kylo why wasn't this. He had tried to warn Kylo when they first started out that he wasn't really that person. Maybe Kylo was finally realising he was right.

 

They eat dinner in relative silence, Hux gushing about how delicious the meal is meeting with Kylo’s monosyllabic responses until he gives up and clears the table when they are done.

 

Kylo stands in the hallway for a long moment staring at him and Hux isn't sure what's happening.

 

Is this a fight?

 

“Did you want to come with me to band practice again?”

 

“Homework…”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Are you coming back tonight?” Hux hates the slight tremor in his voice but if Kylo notices he doesn't say anything.

 

“Do you even want me to?”

 

“Yes.”

 

_ Of course! _

 

“Then I'll be back.”

 

“Have a good time.”

 

Instead of getting a sloppy joyful kiss goodbye Kylo just makes a grunt if noise before leaving.

 

Hux tries to throw himself into his work but keeps finding himself distracted by the utter mess he's made if his relationship with Kylo. How can they go from fucking perfect to a fucking mess in a day.

 

Perhaps that was where Hux’s true talent lied, not in business or architecture but in being a fuck up. It's something his step mother had been calling him out on for years.

 

-

He’s staring up at the bedroom ceiling when the door unlocks. He listens to Millie jump off the bed and pad out to see Kylo, listens to the sweet words he showers her with. 

 

At least he's happy to see her. He's not so sure what kind of welcome he's going to receive.

 

Hux rolls over to stare at the open bedroom door as Kylo walks in.

 

He stops dead when he notices he's still awake.

 

“What are you doing up still? Its late.”

 

_ I was scared you weren't coming back. _

 

“I wasn't sure if you were coming back…” he watches as Kylo peels off his clothes, the light coming in through the curtains more than enough to see the dark blooms of bruises across his skin, “It's our first fight.”

 

Kylo starts at that and drops down into the bed, crawling across the soft expanse to wrap his ice cold hands and cold body around Hux.

 

“You think that's a fight? God you're precious.” Kylo presses his fingers into the dark bruises he had created on Hux’s side.

 

“It wasn't a fight?” 

 

“Was it a fight? Do you want it to be a fight?”

 

“No of course not.”

 

“Good because I don't want it to be either.”

 

“How am I going to know if it's a fight?”

 

“Something will probably be on fire.”

 

“This can't be healthy.” Hux grumbled into Kylo’s collarbone but Kylo doesn't take the bait. Maybe he can't think of an argument against it, maybe he just doesn't care if they are toxic or not.

 

“Next week I've got a show, you'll come right? I want you to hear your songs.”

 

“My songs? As in more than one?”

 

“I could fill a library with songs about you.” His fingers are carding through his hair and Hux most certainly does not nuzzle into him at the feeling.

 

“I don't know how you can say so many things about me, how you can have so many nice things to say about me.”

 

“Do you not believe me? Armie to me you are divine, fate brought us together.”

 

“Not that again.”

 

“Hush my darling, you have an early lecture.”

 

Hux settles into Kylo’s embrace but can't sleep, not yet.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

“About what?”

 

“About fucking everything up.”

 

“Armitage…”

 

He shakes his head, “It's true, they've said it about me my whole life and it's true. I fuck up everything good in my life.”

 

“And I'm a good thing?”

 

“Very…” he wants to say more by Kylo’s hands are drawing against his skin, carding through his hair and the weight of him in the bed is a perfect thing. Comfortable like a lullaby because he's out cold.

 

* * *

 

“He just doesn't say it. To anyone, at all Kylo.” Phasma is helping Kirby set up her drum set, “I wouldn't think too much on it.”

 

He wants to not think about it but it's a little difficult to do when he's writing an album of love songs for the man he sleeps next to every night.

 

“But how do I know he even cares?”

 

“You don't know a lot about Hux do you?” Phasma shakes her head and stands up, she's got her platinum blonde hair in perfect order and her lips that deep red again, in spite of all the manual labour she's done this evening she still seems perfect. Kylo wonders if maybe she and Hux were related because it took a thorough fucking to make a mess of him.

 

“I know a lot about him. We've been together for two whole months.” It sounds pathetic but he's never been with anyone as long, he knows all about Armie, “I know all about Armie, do you know what his favourite soap is? Do you know that he falls asleep at the exact same part of that Ken Burns documentary but keeps trying to watch it? Do you know -”

 

Phasma holds up her hand and Kylo stutters to a stop.

 

“Hux loves you Kylo, he just doesn't like those words, I don't know why, Im his best friend not his shrink.”

 

“How do you know though?” He asks quietly the fear is seeping into his voice. Armitage Hux was perfectly positioned to destroy him. He was too close and he just kept getting closer but every time he even tried to say those words Hux was suddenly a million miles away.

 

“Let me see your keys.” She makes a gimmie motion and Kylo drops his keys into her large hand. She sorts through the mess of keys and finds two. Separating them from the rest she holds them in front of his face, “This is how I know.”

 

“My keys?”

 

“Your keys to  _ Hux’s _ apartment and god is this a copy of his mail key?”

 

“Sometimes I check the mail when I go out to get groceries. It's not a big deal.” He snatches them back. 

 

Phasma shakes her head and goes back to Kirby. 

 

It's not a big deal. Armie likes to be efficient, and he usually got home first. 

 

Kylo looks out at the small crowd, it's slowly growing, it'll be full by the time their set actually starts, there isn't a flicker of red hair in the crowd. He knows Armie won't be here until about halfway into his set, he has a meeting with some advisor or other. He hopes it goes well Armie is drowning in work. The nights he get back late from the library with all his business textbooks in tow he just falls into bed with Kylo, letting him wrap around him, leeching his warmth.

 

He thinks the double major is killing him but it isn't really his place to say so.

 

He pours a few bottles of sports drink down his throat before they are announced and they walk onto the stage to the sound of drunken cheers and excitement.

 

He can feel the energy seep into him from them. Fueling him.

 

They start with Cooper and Cream because he knows Armie won't be there yet and it's been getting a lot of movement SoundCloud.

 

He throws himself into the music, into the lyrics put together for the redheaded love of his life, for his fated one, his soulmate, throws every ounce of fear and insecurity into the words about him leaving, every ounce of himself is in the music and the crowd moves like the ocean in front of him, wild and crashing against the stage and when he sings  _ A song for Armitage,  _ he searches out in the crowd and finds that gorgeous hair, those dangerous eyes staring at him, an unmoving rock in the fluid crowd, he sings out all the dangerous terrible things he wants to do in the man's name, destroy himself, destroy the world, his voice trembles beautifully on the words  _ love, lover, mine, yours, yours yours yours. _

 

The set ends with an explosion of sound Armitage's song sinking easily into something rougher and raw and ripped open. He feels electric, like he's reaching into himself, clawing through skin and bone and guts and pulling out something so much more important than his heart and the crowd yells and hollers and sings along at the chorus’s.

 

They end to loud applause and Raff has to take his mic to tell them about the merch table, and that every dollar spent get them closer to studio time for Kylo’s masterpiece.

 

He barely hears him as he rushes off the stage to wrap his arms around Hux, to drink him in, listen to the only praise that matters.

 

He pushes through the crowd with relative ease, towards Armie.

 

There's a slight crowd around the redhead.

 

“Don't cause a fucking scene Tadd, Jesus.” 

 

Kylo pushes through the last ring of people to end up standing behind Armie. He's in a heated argument with a slight blond man, he's handsome and well put together. He looks rich and possibly like a lawyer.

 

“A fucking? Are you serious? You fucking asshole Hux-”

 

“I told you already that-”

 

“Your fucking the lead singer of my favourite band Hux! How could you do this to me? I knew you were a whore but -”

 

Kylo surges forward, his arm flinging out and curling around Hux pulling him behind him, “What the fuck did you just say?”

 

“Kylo, Kylo I'll handle it.” Hux has his hand on Kylo’s back and it's cool to his overheated skin. Hux turns back to the handsome man, “Tadd we are done, it was your choice to be done-”

 

“You manipulative piece of shit you-” The blonde man,  _ Tadd,  _ who is obviously Hux’s ex runs his hands through beautiful looking hair, “You ruin fucking everything.”

 

Kylo looks at Hux but he looks different than he usually does, he’s that vampire again, that straight backed, don’t fuck with me hard thing that he barely ever sees. 

 

“Thadeus.” Hux’s voice is a hard sharp thing that causes Tadd to flinch and drop his eyes before he shakes his head violently.

 

“No! You can’t do that to me anymore! We aren’t together anymore, you can’t make me feel like this.”

 

Hux’s hand slides down Kylo’s side, he seems to think that the fight it over, “I didn’t force you into anything Thadeus and I didn’t ruin anything for you. You ruined it for yourself.”

 

Kylo is looking between them and its not taking much imagination to figure out the kind of relationship Hux had had with this man, this attractive, well put together man, and he can’t help but notice that their relationship isn’t anything like that.

 

“I… I… I’ve ruined? You don’t even like Knights of Ren!” Tadd yells out, flinging an arm as if he can hurt Hux with the words. 

 

The words don’t hurt Hux.

 

But they sure as fuck slice into Kylo.

 

“I used to have to drag you out to see them and now you’re fucking the lead singer?”

 

“My relationship with Kylo is none of your business.” Kylo is amazed at the way Hux slips in front of him as if he needed to be sheltered from this man’s words.

 

“Relationship- Ha.” Tadd throws his head back and laughs a cruel sound that crawls into Kylo’s head. Hux hadn’t liked his band at all, he hadn’t liked him, he hadn’t been playing hard to get, he had honestly not known, was it not fate at all, was it some cruel trick of fate?

 

He certainly wasn’t Hux’s type. The man looked like a fucking movie star, Kylo was at best unconventionally handsome, his odd features twisting into some sort of odd endearing structure, this man was just handsome, like he belonged on a CW show.

 

“Hux doesn’t know how to have a relationship, Hux just knows how to give orders and now all I’ll ever see when I look at him is him on his knees for you begging for your affection, because that’s what you like, to break people and have them need you. Well fuck you  _ Armitage.” _

 

He flinched at the way Armitage sounded in that man’s mouth, it was a cruel sound, something that sounded like an insult.

 

“You are a broken man and what everyone says about you is right, you're a fuck up, you loveless piece of shit.”

 

Hux moves like a dancer, its just a fluid snap of movement and then Tadd is on his knees holding his hands over his face.

 

“I always liked you better on your knees  _ Thadeus _ .”

 

Kylo steps backwards through the crowd his mind is a flurry of noise. A hurricane of conflicting images of his boyfriend and it’s all slamming into him at once. Drawing terrifying parallels between himself and Tadd, the ex, the good looking put together man, slightly older surely, handsome, fair, and his relationship with Hux had been so so very different.

 

Hux had been a different person smashing his fist into that man, standing taller and prouder and more sure of himself than he ever seemed to stand when he was with Kylo.

 

Kylo flees the club, a panic building and pushing out of him in all directions tapping into something he had thought under control.

 

Something dark is whispering in the back of his head.

 

_ Armie is a lie, Armie is a liar, Armie doesn't love you, Armie doesn't even exist. _

 

_ Hux doesn't love you. _

 

_ Could never love you. _

 

_ You aren't even his type. _

 

_ Did you see that guy? _

 

_ He's making a fool out of you. _

 

_ He doesn't love you. _

 

The way Hux had cringed and hidden at the very notion of Kylo confessing his feeling hit him like a tonne of bricks. The image crisp and violently clear makes something in him boil as he rushes up the six flights of stairs to his apartment.

 

Everything is crashing down around him, everything feel distinctly like a lie, every touch and kiss, every soft whisper of breath a betrayal. 

 

Kylo slams his apartment door so hard it bounces off the jam leaving it ajar as he puts his fist through the nearest wall.

 

He throws the table across the apartment where it crashes into the old TV and wall, splattering everything with broken glass and stale beer.

 

Kylo takes the closest knife and slashes into the couch, it yields under the weight of Hux’s betrayal. Every memory of them together is stained and tainted with this new vision of Hux, with this new knowledge every tentative touch feels like a manipulation.

 

All this time Kylo had thought that they were soulmates but all Hux had seen was a lovesick puppy that would follow him. When was Hux going to work up to pushing Kylo into that mold Tadd had seemed to grateful to have broken from.

 

Did Hux get some sick thrill out of making men love him and then destroying them?

 

He smashed something, he didn't know what it was, just that it was in the way and he still had so much dark boiling anger and something worse than sadness trying to escape him.

 

He'd let it happen again. He'd let another man he thought cared use him. He felt like he was going to retch.

 

Everything around him was blurring into smears of color and sound and smells, he could see smears of the sad greys and browns of his destroyed apartment, can hear the crackle of something, the settling of broken things, the crunch of broken glass, he can smell smoke and it tastes like something hollow and so so sad.

 

Orange.

 

He can see orange.

 

Aren't you supposed to see red.

 

“What is wrong with you?” Hux’s voice cuts through everything and Kylo blinks away the smearing to focus on Hux standing in the ruin of his apartment.

 

“What's wrong with me? Fuck you Hux.”

 

Hux flinches, not at the curse but at the use of his last name.

 

“I don't understand…” Hux’s eyes drift to something behind him and with a quick look he sees that part of the threadbare rug is on fire, “Are we having a fight?”

 

“Are we… no Hux we aren't having a fight. There is nothing to fight about because there is nothing to salvage. Get the fuck out of my house.”

 

Hux is looking at him with a broken hearted confusion, “I don't… Kylo what's going on? We can talk about whatever it is at home.”

 

_ Home. _

 

_ What a fucking joke. _

 

He can feel that wet threatening feeling of tears about to spill because he really had felt like it was his home. 

 

Finally.

 

There had been a place for him in Armie’s embrace but that person didn't really exist.

 

“I'm not going anywhere with you, how do you not understand? There is nothing to talk about because this is over.”

 

“Over? What? You're… you're breaking up with me?” Hux looks like he's floundering, “You're breaking up with me after singing about how much you… how much you  _ care _ about me for hours? What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

 

Hux is grasping for something but all Kylo can hear is the silence where the word  _ love _ should have gone.

 

“Is this about Thadeus?”

 

“You used him, you used him up just like your going to use me up. No. I've been down that road before Hux and I'm not letting it happen again. What were you even doing with me in the first place? I'm obviously not your type.”

 

“What I had with Tadd was different then what I have with you.” Hux moves closer his shoes crushing glass and slipping on couch stuffing, “He was fucking nothing. Is that what you want to hear? You want to hear about how I didn't care about him? About how I didn't care for any of them? How I was mean and cruel and how they liked it? You want to hear about how fucking  _ empty _ everything was?”

 

“No. I want you to leave.”

 

“Well I'm not leaving. Not until I've had my say too.” Hux grinds out reaching out and his thin fingers grip hard and twist into Kylo’s shirt keeping them connected.

 

Kylo grabs at his wrist and throws his hand away but Hux is back again in a flash of pale flesh, “Get off of me!” 

 

They grapple and Kylo is shocked that he can't seem to overtake Hux for more than a few seconds he just keeps coming back, his knuckles ripped open from the punch he had thrown at Tadd get spots of blood all over Kylo and he pushes him away only to have Hux come right back.

 

“No! You want to know about those other guys and you'll fucking hear about it!” Kylo barely dodges a punch sent to subdue him, “I hated them. They were a warm body in my bed, they were nothing. They were  _ fucking nothing _ . You said once that everything you gave me was mine only, every sound every touch, everything well it's the same for me. I don't do this Kylo, I don't  _ feel _ ! I'm a husk, I had been hollowed out a long time ago, betrayed by someone who was supposed to love me. But then you, you fucking asshole with your terrible pet names came along and wanted my opinion on things, and was worried about my eating habits and I… I felt something.”

 

Kylo stills because he knows all about that husk and hollow feeling and Hux looks near tears, his face red and blotchy.

 

“If you love someone you give them power over you.” Hux whispers but he keeps staring at Kylo.

 

“Those other men…”

 

“Never had power over me like you do.”

 

“Armie… say it. Say it just the once please.” He begs.

 

“I told you I was a terrible person, I told you I was bad, you said you wanted  _ me _ . You fool this is what happens when you let a Hux love you.” Hux seems to collapse under the weight of the confession, “I love you, are you happy now? I love you and we'll ruin-”

 

Kylo doesn't let him finish, pulling him closer in the rubble and kissing him hard and deep as if that was the only way to disperse the left over darkness and anger in his body.

 

Hux welcomes the touch kissing back an up to now unknown emotion, he knows that that feeling is now, it's the feel of a tragic love, a doomed feeling that tries to eclipse the warmth and need of  _ love _ . Hux pulls him easily on top of him, his hands greedy, pulling and pushing, digging fingers into him as Hux tries to pull them impossibly closer.

 

“Armie…” he sighs against his mouth as Hux is desperate to undo buttons and buckles.

 

“Kylo, Kylo, Kylo, darling,  _ love _ …” he rambles as Kylo presses spit slicked fingers in, “Now, now, need you.” Hux slaps the hand away and it's not enough and they both know it but Armie is crazed and Kylo can't deny him. They'll go slow.

 

And that's the position they are in when the cops show up at the wide open door, intertwined, slowly pumping and moaning each other's names as broken glass tries to grind its way into Hux’s back.

 

“You could have at least put out the fire first fellas.” One of the cops says tiredly as he stomps out the small rug fire.

 

Kylo nods solemnly and fields all the police's questions while Hux tries to figure out what happened to his belt.

 

“Do you have somewhere to spend the night?” The other officer asks handing him a ticket for noise violation and indecency.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Let's go home Kylo.” Hux holds out his hand having given up on his belt. Kylo threads his fingers through Armies and smiles softly, “We'll come back in the morning and get the rest of your things. What's salvageable anyway.”

 

“You mean you want me to move in.”

 

“You moved in months ago Kylo, this'll just make it official.”

 

“I like that.”

 

Hux pauses as they wait for the ancient elevator and stares at his shoes, “I like it too.”

 

They get on the elevator and as Kylo watches Hux leans against the wall he knows there are things they need to talk about but right now knowing that Armie loves him back is more than enough.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too, but don't expect me to say it all the time.”

 

Kylo smiles knowing now what Phasma was talking about. Just because he isn't going to say it often doesn't mean he doesn't feel it.

 

Kylo kisses him and they almost get another ticket when Hux has his hand down Kylo’s pants when the cops get on the elevator.

 

“Really guys? Wait until you get home.”

 

_ Home.  _


End file.
